1. The Limbo Fall
Characterized by a swift, downward movement of the lower back, The Limbo Fall is the culprit of countless trips to the ER for surgery and treatment on back injuries. Typically occurs in suburban areas with middle-aged fathers who attempt to shovel their driveways in a negative amount of time. For example, Bill takes a step forward too quickly, and finds himself in a horizontal position, mid-air, yet still attempting to remain upright. We call this evident bend in the lower back while the feet still try to stay vertical The Limbo Fall.
2. The Hula
Characterized by unusually quick movement in the hips, the hula is most typically seen in middle-aged women. For example, Martha may be exiting her nearest Food Lion with a bag of groceries, spots the crosswalk, takes a step on the ice, and immediately is seen to have a bulge in her left hip area. Soon, her right hip juts out and she begins a downward rhythmic pattern while she descends to the gravel street, red apples and green bean cans spontaneously rolling everywhere.
3. The Slow Dance
Characterized by a smooth and delayed downward motion of the body, the slow dance fall replicates the movement of many 19th century performances. For example, Jose notices he dropped his keys. He bends down to pick them up, and realizes that his balance is not right. He is aware that his right foot has begun to slide backwards on the black ice, and he wonders what options he has to remain vertical. Soon, Jose is in the middle of his fall, yet still remains fully aware of his inability to maintain his posture as his fall is gradual, slow, and much like the slow dance he never learned.
4. The Macarena
Characterized by swift arm movements, the Macarena fall is a wistful jolt of the arms that come as natural instinct to many people in effort to keep their balance. For example, Sue notices that she has lost her balance and begins moving her arms in a wide and angular range of directions. She makes a valiant effort to remain afloat, and when it is evident that Sue is going to fall, she continues to push her arms out forwards and to the sides to keep the rest of her body dry. Sue has committed the Macarena Fall.
5. The Shuffle
Characterized by alternating movement in the feet. The shuffle occurs when one doesn’t quite trip, but more so slides across a layer of ice. One foot quickly moves forwards and the other follows closely behind, and this pattern repeats as the individual gains speed, and then slowly ceases when the individual is able to brace themselves and come to halt. For example, Maxwell attempts to look like a cool kid by not slowing down as he walks across a sheet of ice. Maxwell soon regrets this decision as he slide-shuffle dances his way across the sheet, checking behind his shoulder to see if anyone was looking.
6. The Collapse
Characterized by an unusually fast body movement straight towards the ground, the collapse often occurs when least expected. It is not necessary for there to be ice for the collapse to occur, as most collapse individuals find themselves to collapse for no apparent reason when walking. For example, Betsy is walking along a freshly paved sidewalk, with no jolts or cracks in it. She is making her way along the path when suddenly, her legs give out and she appears to have not tripped, but collapsed under her own weight and onto the ground.
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