Writing can be an outlet, but at times, getting the perfect idea is a journey in its own. As a perfectionist, it takes hours of painful emotional swings to write an article worth publishing. Hard to believe but writing is actually the easy part. Once I think of an idea, the writing and flow happens in a matter of minutes. These stages of emotional conflict encompass the bittersweet counterpart to the gratification of writing that is a mutual understanding among almost all writers: a journey that makes writing worthwhile.
1. I will start this early. Should I write about my life? About someone else’s life? About a recent event in media? Funny or serious?
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It is Monday. My due date is next Sunday. This week I will not procrastinate. I’m going to plan all of the logistics of my article today and continue refining it throughout the week. I will actually engage in and dedicate myself to this piece of writing. I will take the time to revise and edit numerous times to make sure it is the best that it can be. I’ll brainstorm and develop multiple ideas, so if one doesn’t work out, I have others to fall back on. All writers have this primary stage where they naively convince themselves they will actually actively engross themselves in the writing a week before the deadline. Honestly, if this actually happened, I would give you a cookie because no matter how many times I am determined to achieve this status and how many times I fail to fulfill it, I still foolishly convince myself to continue trying.
2. OK, I procrastinated this week. It’s fine. I still have a couple of good ideas, right?
Now, it is Friday. I have conveniently occupied myself with the endless and abundant work from each of my classes, I seem to have completely forgotten about my article. I mean, it’s not like this happens every week or anything. I do have a couple of ideas written down. Open letter to my best friend. Eh, people get tired of reading those. The Impact of Genetic Engineering on Future Society. Hmm, it’s insightful but not really relatable. What Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavor Says About You. OK, now that’s just plain stupid – I was probably just really hungry. Great, I’m out of ideas. Now what am I supposed to do?
3. Am I really cut out for writing? Everyone else writes such amazing articles. Should I even try?
Now, I have reached almost rock bottom (or Bikini Bottom). I am feeling completely hopeless now. No ideas. Blank Word document. Only two more days until my deadline. Now, I start questioning my writing capability. I mean it’s fine if I can’t write, right?
4. I still have time. No need to panic now.
It’s OK. I have two more days, two whole days. I should take a break. I’ll just spend five minutes online. I mean, the idea will just magically hit me, right? I just have to distract myself. I’m good at writing; all good writers have writer's block. It’s just a phase, and it will pass. Actually, I’m just going to watch Netflix and eat ice cream. Yes, ice cream.
5) Wait, what? It’s Sunday? Already?
OK, stay calm. It will all be OK in the end. I just need to focus. I’ll just start writing about something, and the idea will come to me. What did I do this week? Oh! Maybe I should Google some current events? Maybe I should just write a list, lists are easy. But, you have to be funny with lists. Am I funny? T minus two hours until the deadline. I hate deadlines. Why do deadlines exist? I am not panicking. Heart racing, tiny drops of sweat forming around my face, my mind cluttering with useless information – I am definitely panicking.
6) And submit! I am done! That article wasn’t actually that bad.
The squeal of satisfaction when I click the submit button is real, and it is accompanied by that proud feeling I get when I finally attain the right idea. It's the light bulb moment when all I can do is type. My mind spills words, sentences and ideas into beautifully structured paragraphs. My jokes are also actually funny this time.
This is what I work for every week, this satisfaction. No matter how strenuous the journey is every week, I still manage to submit a compelling and personal article that embodies my personality. Although it is a brutal cycle, this feeling is the reason why I will never stop writing.
