I sit in my bed at 6 am wondering for the 3rd time this year, where did everything go wrong?

Was it that extra shot at Café Paris?

Was it the fear of starting over with someone new?

Was it the need to win over the internal calling to do what’s right?

I sit in my bed at 6 am thanking God I am alone.

I thank God for the wake-up calls.

I thank God for the ability to walk away.

I thank God for subtle reminders of my gifts and talents.

I sit in my bed at 6 am wondering what I really stand for because most nights I don’t even know.

Most nights I stand for chicks before dicks, but here I am worrying about you.

Most nights I believe in second chances, but I wonder where were mine and why I didn’t take them.

Most nights I believe people change then I look in the mirror and realize that they progress.

I sit in my bed at 6 am wondering if this is it, is this all life really is.

Is life really this uncontrollable roller coaster of ups and downs?

Is life really a one time deal?

Is this my life?

I sit in my bed at 6 am wondering if my dreams will come true or am breathing life into a non-existent situation?

Will I change the life of one person for the better?

Will that vision of me in the field reading a book to my imaginary son come true?

Will I join the Peace Corps and open my schools for girls by the time I am 64?

I sit in my bed at 6 am wondering where my story will end and praying that I will be my own hero.

I sit in my bed at 6 am praying for peace and understanding.