We all know them. They exist everywhere. They are the elusive coffee drinkers, but they are not all cut from the same cloth. In fact, there are five different types of coffee drinkers:

1.The type whose order is a literal laundry list.

“Hi, yeah can I have a tall iced, non-fat, skim, mint, passion, no foam, mocha caramel latte with a LITTLE bit of ice?” Like are you gonna ask for their number too? These are the people who have definitely solidified their preferebces, much to the dismay of your busy schedule.

2.“Just black”

Kudos to you, coffee drinker. Your taste buds have evolved in such a way that it seems that the ability to taste things both bitter and horrid have skipped your gene pool! Though you are a barista’s dream come true, I am unsure as to how you put back purely ground coffee beans.

3. Is that even coffee? It tastes like candy.

Unfortunately, this is me. Myself and this grouping of individuals often put an absurd amount of swirls and sweeteners in our caffeinated beverages. Bystanders who take a sip often speculate whether or not there is any coffee-flavored anything in the beverage. But hey, whatever works, right?

4. Decaf drinkers.

This is the group I consider to be the spider monkeys of the world- slowly becoming endangered yet energetic all on their own. On my 6:30 am coffee runs before work this is a rarity to hear. I give these people credit because they indulge in the taste of coffee without reaping the benefits of caffeinating. Be it health reasons or taste preference- I admire and envy this choice in beverage.

5. Non-drinkers.

Bless your souls.

*Inspired by Gabby West*