Winter break is filled to the brim with holiday festivities, rekindling friendships and the occasional irritating family member. Another integral part of the holidays is the inevitable Netflix binge and, more often than not, the end of a show you’ve invested your heart and a good part of your soul into. The characters have become your best friends and you’ve grown as their storylines progressed. So when the final end credits rolled across your computer screen, you felt your heart break as the realization that you’d never see those characters again washed over you.
OK, maybe I’m being a little over-dramatic, but I feel all of that in my heart and soul. Yes, the inevitable Netflix binge happened. And yes, I too have lost someone near and dear from a series finale. I finished "Merlin."
For those of you who aren’t familiar with "Merlin," it’s a BBC fantasy drama about the life of a young Merlin as he helps Prince Arthur go from "arrogant prat" to the legend we all know today. It’s a brilliant show with amazing actors, and the whole kingdom of Camelot stole my heart. While the series officially aired its last episode back in 2012, I hadn’t started watching it until late October and refused to watch the series finale until after the semester ended because I knew I would be a blubbering mess when I finally got to it. "Merlin" did not disappoint.
As I mourned the loss of what had become my favorite TV show, I remembered Mary Kübler-Ross’s "5 Stages of Grief" and realized that, in a way, I was grieving not over the death of a loved one, but over the end of a world that I had come to love. So from the depths of my sadness, I present "The 5 Stages of Post-Show Woe."
1. Denial
Denial hits as soon as the screen fades to black and there’s no “insert show name here will return…” before the credits.
“There must be more!” you think desperately to yourself, “There has to be more.”
This first stage is pretty quick because, well, it’s not too difficult to acknowledge that there really isn’t any more material left for you to ingest.
2. Anger
This stage is also short-lived for some. It mostly consists of you clutching your head and moaning, “Why? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I think this was a good idea?” or blaming whoever recommended said show.
After I finished "Merlin," I texted my friend, whom I acknowledged as the root of my grief, and demanded to know what I did to make her inflict such pain.
3. Bargaining
This is where you tell yourself that the show will live on, even if the curtains have dropped. This stage varies in length depending on the level of obsession you had for said show and how committed you are to finding new material on it.
I willingly admit to scouring the Internet for hours on Tumblr, fanfiction.net, and other content sites for fanfiction and fanart. I’ve watched the blooper reels for every season so many times that I could probably recite every word back to you. I combed through the depths of YouTube to get my hands on every behind-the-scenes and commentary videos I could find.
You make your way through every possible form of material you could possibly find, until you’re left with things you’ve already seen.
4. Defeat
In Kübler-Ross’s version, this stage is called "Depression," and while the end of a TV show is certainly a depressing thought, this stage occurs after you have resigned yourself to the fact that the show isn’t coming back. The stories have ended and you’re left with the knowledge that there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ve been defeated.
Some people will take matters into their own hands and try to create content. They’ll hone their talents and create mesmerizing artwork, intricate stories and captivating videos for the enjoyment of others who share their pain, and for their own satisfaction. However, sooner or later, everyone comes to the point where they accept defeat.
5. Acceptance
This is when you know the pain is almost over. You’ve made peace with yourself and the fact that the stories you've enjoyed are over. There's no doubt that you’ll always remember the feeling of excitement when you curled up on the couch to watch the latest episode, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. You can finally move on. And then the process will begin all over again when you finish your next show.
As for me, I’m currently trapped on Stage Three with "Merlin," and I don’t see an end any time soon. For everyone mourning the end of a TV show they love, I feel your pain and I wish you the best of luck.
