Among hip-hop heads, there is a large debate about who has the best "flows" and "rhymes," as the kids like to say. After hundreds of thousands of hours of research, I have scientifically calculated the five best rappers of all time.
5. Tiger
Coming in at number five is a hot new rapper called Tiger. I think they call him Tiger because of his signature "rawr" ad-lib that comprises most of his songs. After coming out with some revolutionary raps, Tiger has a bright future ahead of him and I wish him the best of luck!
4. Seagull Boy
The Seagull! Not only does this guy make raps, he also makes Caaaa$$$hhhh Monnneeeyyy!! Oh man, this guy comes out with the good stuff. Hits like "The Beach" and "Love to Bother People on The Beach" make me wish I was back in the early 2000s sooooo bad!
3. Pug
When I did my research, I noticed that all of the best rappers named themselves after animals, and Pug certainly fits right in with the best of the best. Mr. Three Hundred and Five himself has been making some of the BEST traditional Spanish raps and incorporates them with some funky techno beats! Oh gosh, I'm getting overwhelmed thinking about all of the hip-hop. It's going down and I am yelling timber!
2. The Wizard of the Caliphate
Oh man, he calls himself the wizard and his music really does cast a spell on me. This guy has been in the zone since his career began, with hits like "I'm Gonna Cast A Spell on You With My Wizard Music, So Run Away If You Don't Want a Spell to be Casted on You Because It's Gonna be a Big One". Good Stuff!
1. Geez
This is it. The big number one. The science doesn't lie, and the Geez is the best to ever tear the mic up. He's got bars, he's got raps, he's got the ladies, man he's got it all! I wish I was this guy so I could write some lyrics and set the stage on fire. Oh well, I guess it's just a dream. Maybe someday I'll be this good!