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The 15 Stages Of Missing Penn State: As Told By Dwight Schrute

Happy Valley is our office.

Morgan Bryan

Jul 11, 2016

Pennsylvania State University

116

The 15 Stages Of Missing Penn State: As Told By Dwight Schrute

Everybody looks forward to summer, but Penn Staters know that the excitement is short-lived because we simply can't wait to get back to the happiest of valleys. Attending Penn State is like a year-long summer because no matter the season, there's always something to look forward to. Those of us working over the summer know that our real vacation begins late August. This anticipation of another Penn State school year happens gradually, and then all at once. Here are the 15 stages of missing Penn State as told by Dwight Schrute:

1. Hearing other people talk about how great their school is.

2. Buying your football season pass and thinking about beating Temple this year.

3. Wearing your PSU shirt out and hearing "We Are!"

4. Skyping your college friends.

5. Trash-talking Michigan and Ohio before the season even starts.

6. When someone asks if you know their distant family member who went to Penn State forever ago.

7. Seeing friends depart for ArtsFest without you.

8. Craving Insomnia Cookies, Canyon pizza, Panda Express and grilled stickies.

9. At this point you're even missing the old-timey ways of Central PA.

10. Using LionPath and reminiscing about the ELion days.

11. When you notice you've lost your freshman 15 and set out to regain it.

12. And the ice cream in your hometown just doesn't compare to Berkey Creamery.

13. You're already planning syllabus week.

14. But you still have more time to get zero work done.

15. Until you can pack up the car and head to Happy Valley.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 15 Stages Of Missing Penn State: As Told By Dwight Schrute

Happy Valley is our office.

1. Hearing other people talk about how great their school is.

2. Buying your football season pass and thinking about beating Temple this year.

3. Wearing your PSU shirt out and hearing "We Are!"

4. Skyping your college friends.

5. Trash-talking Michigan and Ohio before the season even starts.

6. When someone asks if you know their distant family member who went to Penn State forever ago.

7. Seeing friends depart for ArtsFest without you.

8. Craving Insomnia Cookies, Canyon pizza, Panda Express and grilled stickies.

9. At this point you're even missing the old-timey ways of Central PA.

10. Using LionPath and reminiscing about the ELion days.

11. When you notice you've lost your freshman 15 and set out to regain it.

12. And the ice cream in your hometown just doesn't compare to Berkey Creamery.

13. You're already planning syllabus week.

14. But you still have more time to get zero work done.

15. Until you can pack up the car and head to Happy Valley.

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

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1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

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