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The 14 Stages Of Allergy Season

It's officially raining pollen, and no amount of Zyrtec or Flonase can save you.

EmmaLea Reed

Apr 08, 2018

Florida State University

Pexels

The sun stays up longer, the flowers have begun to bloom, baseball season is in full swing, greenery fills the city...and pollen is wreaking havoc - it's officially allergy season.

If you struggle with allergies, you know how miserable this season can be. No amount of Zyrtec and Flonase can cure the sniffly, stuffy life you are living. Moreover, everyone's car is caked in yellow frosting, making it literally impossible to escape.

I present to you, the 14 stages of allergy season:

1. Ah, you have survived the bitter winter, and the flowers are blooming once again.

2. Then, a gust of wind blows...

3. And it begins to rain pollen.

4. Your car has turned yellow overnight...amazing!

5. Pollen literally clings to your body whenever you walk outside.

6. You sneeze once and know that this is only the beginning of a long, painful allergy season.

7. Every day a new symptom arises.

8. Mouth breathing is the only way to go...seriously, you've probably forgotten that you have nostrils by now.

9. You stock up on tissues/allergy meds/eye drops, even though you know nothing can save you now.

10. Being asked "are you crying?" like, 10 times a day.

11. Avoiding the outdoors at all costs.

12. You're basically a walking tissue box.

13. You swear to never take your health for granted again.

14. #deathbypollen2k18

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 14 Stages Of Allergy Season

It's officially raining pollen, and no amount of Zyrtec or Flonase can save you.

1. Ah, you have survived the bitter winter, and the flowers are blooming once again.

2. Then, a gust of wind blows...

3. And it begins to rain pollen.

4. Your car has turned yellow overnight...amazing!

5. Pollen literally clings to your body whenever you walk outside.

6. You sneeze once and know that this is only the beginning of a long, painful allergy season.

7. Every day a new symptom arises.

8. Mouth breathing is the only way to go...seriously, you've probably forgotten that you have nostrils by now.

9. You stock up on tissues/allergy meds/eye drops, even though you know nothing can save you now.

10. Being asked "are you crying?" like, 10 times a day.

11. Avoiding the outdoors at all costs.

12. You're basically a walking tissue box.

13. You swear to never take your health for granted again.

14. #deathbypollen2k18

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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