Family gatherings during Christmas can get a little awkward, but a well-placed pun can bring some holly jolly laughter to any friend, relative, or acquaintance you'll be rubbing shoulders with this Holiday Season! Lucky for you, I have 12 puns to appeal to any personality, guaranteed to make you the star atop your family tree.
1.) For The Grandma That Cooks a Lot
"I robbed a cookware store once. It was a little dangerous, but it was worth the whisk."
2.) Your Uncle With a Passion for Science
"Once upon a time there was a lizard born with no legs or arms. As he got older, he began to wonder why he was so different from his brothers and sisters. Troubled, he asked his parents about it. His dad placed a caring claw on his son's shoulder and said, "Son, you're adapted."
3.) The Little Cousin Who's Obsessed With Dinosaurs
"Why did the herbivore eat the T-rex?"
"Why?"
"Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures."
4.) Aunt Karen Who Won't Stop Talking About the Election
"So, did you know Hillary Clinton is an f?"
"An f?"
"Oh sorry, I meant to say 'female' but the emale was deleted."
5.) For The Guy Who Thinks He's Hilarious
"I've heard that comedians use a different currency than most of us. Comedy gold.
6.) Your Rich Doctor Relative
"There were two doctors running a blood drive. After the dive, they were looking over the records and one doctor pointed out a name and said, "That's incorrect. She is a type A, not B." The other doctor replied, "Oh sorry, must have been a 'type-O.'"
7.) Your Little Brother Who Probably Likes Ninjas
"Where do gingerbread cookies study to become ninja-bread cookies?"
"Where?"
"The dough-jo"
8.) The Friend With a Shoe Addiction
"I can't seem to find my shoes anywhere! And I can't borrow any because my feet are so small. Curse those little sneakers."
9.) That One Relative Obsessed With Healthy Eating
"Sometimes the diet trends I hear about sound disgusting! Oh well, what doesn't 'kale' you makes you stronger."
10.) Your Friend Who's Always Reading
"What do you think the tallest building in town is? The Library! Because it has the most stories."
11.) That One Neighbor Who Always Hosts The BBQ's
"You know, coming up with stake puns is an art. I guess you could say, it's a medium rare well-done.
12.) Your Parents
"This Christmas, I'm thankful for all you've done for me! Even for teaching me to do laundry. You've done loads."