One of the perks of college is getting the chance to meet a whole lot of people. I've went through a bunch of different kinds of friends at Coastal Carolina. Some more calm and collective, others just flat of out of their damn minds. Now when you throw in a few tall boys, 2 shots on tequila, and a pitcher of holy water, you better bet that they are a whole other person. One of two things can happen. They can completely change all together or their sober self can amplify exponentially. From Long Island and my three years at Coastal, I've come across more then just a few but I guarantee you know exactly what I'm talking about.
1. The one who acts food deprived.
I've been guilty of this more then once, but I know a few that it is almost written in their D.A.D. (drunk alternate DNA). Taco bell always seems to be the go to back on Long Island so instinctively it was a bit of an adjustment to have to change to Cook Out. Everyone has a bit of this drunk in them. As soon as the room starts to spin and the thin amount cares you give go out the door, hunger instantly floods your mind and just the sound of Taco Bell brings a smile to your face. It doesn't help that you and your buddy just said food at the same time and immediately followed by Taco Bell almost in perfect synchronization. If you don't take that as a sign, you need a few more drinks.
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2. Mr. or Mrs. Emotional
This is the worst. Lucifer himself is responsible for this. What is it about alcohol that brings up exes or drama. Again, we all had some of the moments but not like others. Every time alcohol touches their lips its like it instantly triggers tears. Nobody likes that one person just balling their eyes out just bringing down everyones mood. I just put myself through some shit trying to get that nasty ass $8 dollar vodka down, now we have to deal with this. Nope, ain't nobody got time for that. Which brings me to the next drunk.
3. The one who doesn't know when to stop
This can be quite annoying. After almost everyone has vomited repeatedly and the cops showed up twice, there is always one or two people still going hard. Common, stop, Nick is passed on on the cement, Kevin just puked in his sink, and Alex doesn't know what state he is in, not to mention it is 7 a.m. However, there is always that one still bragging about how he can shotgun one more.
4. The "Lets go for a walk." guy
I don't mind these so much as it kind of helps put me back into reality but sometimes I just could not move, and there is no chance I am staying home alone wasted off my ass laughing at a lamp for no apparent reason.
5. The Daredevil
If you don't know a daredevil. Find yourself one. They make the night 200x better. Imagine someone jumping out of a third story window on to a trampoline wearing nothing but a speedo after shotgunning three keystones trying to land in the kiddie pool filled with bath bubbles. Enough said or should I elaborate more.
6. "Hot head"
Oh boy. The one guy who tries to start a fight with a random stranger for "looking at his girl" or "stepping on his shoes". Stay far away from this guy as he is most likely to get you kicked out of the bar or a lot worse.
7. The couple that always fights.
This is the typical situation where all is well in the first 2 hours. Then they start to go quiet and you see them start talking, gradually raising their voices as time goes on. Then, one bursts and says something irrational and drunk worthy as they storm out. This is when this transitions to #2.
8. The mute
The one who just sows his mouth shut and becomes a freaking mime whenever he gets drunk. Usually their mind starts to race and one thing leads to another and they are just that awkward dude not saying a word that nobody thinks is drunk until he breaks the shell and goes crazy. Usually the break to crazy to pass out timespan is all within 30 minutes. However the damage is uncontrollable.
9. The "I'm not drunk."
Easy to spot but not easy to convince. Easy signs of this type comes with easily identifiable phrases. This such like "I didn't even have that much" or "I can drive I swear" or maybe even "Watch me walk this line". Nine out of ten times they are drunker then they think so watch out for them cause you never know what mess they will end up in.
10. The one who defiles himself.
This one is rare but none the less real. I've seen a few of these and it's not pretty by any means. I am talking full on soil. I'll save the details for your imagination but it usually contains nudity, urinating themselves, or something along those lines.
11. Mr. or Mrs. Cellular
The one who needs their phone locked away in a safe every time they drink. They end up texting everyone and their brother random and regrettable things sober them would never think of. This usually targets ex girlfriends and boyfriends and ends in either an argument, or awkward standings. I think we can all agree its best to stay far away from texts when battling rum and whiskey simultaneously.
