The year is going by so fast! It feels like just yesterday we were opening gifts on Christmas morning and watching the ball drop. But, believe it or not, St. Patty's Day is just around the corner. It's that time of year to embrace your Irish heritage and everyone with pale skin can take pride in it! On the other hand, we all know that this is probably the only time of year when it feels good to be pale. For those of you who don't know the feeling, here is a brief list of the daily obstacles in the lives of us pale folk.
1. You stand out like a sore thumb at the beach.
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It's tough going to the beach when you look like Edward Cullen standing in the sunlight.
2. SPF 1,000 wouldn't prevent you from burning.
There's very little difference between wearing sunblock and wearing no sunblock. Either way, you're screwed.
3. Spray tans are essential to avoid looking like a ghost at prom or in a wedding.
There is a high risk of coming out looking like a traffic cone, but this is a risk we are willing to take.
4. There isn't a light enough foundation to match your skin tone.
The best solution to this problem seems to be wearing baby powder as foundation.
5. You get sunburnt on a cloudy day.
Finally an overcast day? Don't let Mother Nature fool you; 99 percent of the time, these are the worst days for burning.
6. Even when you try to shield your eyes, it doesn't end well.
Yes, I know I look like a raccoon. And yes, it does hurt. What of it?
7. You'll do anything to find some shade.
The sun turns into the devil when you can't find shade. Towels, umbrellas, even sand work as great shields.
8. Your friends get annoyed having to help you reapply sunblock every ten minutes.
It's a full time job being the friend of a burner. Spray-on sunblock will save extra time!
9. Your dermatologist is your right hand, your go to.
You're beginning to worry that you have no layers of skin left to peel off after all these burns. The dermatologist will become your own personal preacher.
10. You are constantly asked if you're sick because of the dark circles under your eyes.
No, I'm not sick. No, I'm not overtired. I'm just so pale that my dark circles and freckles stand out like highlighters on my face.
11. Aloe vera is a gift from God.
No further comment, your Honor.
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