As we all prepare to chow down on hot dogs and burgers while sitting by the pool with our friends and family this July 4th, I thought I would reflect on the many different characters you are bound to see. Our Independence Day's wouldn't be the same without them there and we're even looking forward to the stories we will be able to tell after this year's shindig. We might only get to see these people once a year at the family gathering, but we will remember them for all of the years to come. Here are ten types of people you'll find at your family's July 4th party.
1. The host
This is the person who is most likely restocking solo cups and cleaning up a random spill in the corner. They are overworked and under appreciated, and I salute those who take this badge of honor on.
2. The drunk one
They've somehow managed to finish off an entire case of beer by noon and don't seem to be letting up on the Bud Light any time soon. They find a way to insult at least one person every time they talk and swear this is the last year it will happen.
3. The one who brought the potato salad
Not all heroes wear capes and your best friend’s aunt is the party’s own "Avenger." How she managed to get the perfect blend of potato chunks and smoothness will never stop amazing you, and you can only hope she took a hint from last year and made extra.
4. The one who brought all of their kids
They walk in with diaper bags in hand and you can hear them coming from a block away. You love them but hate them at the same time because whenever they come around, a screaming child is not far off. At one time, they were the life of the party but they turned into more of a buzzkill once they had kids.
5. The pyromaniac
It doesn't matter how hard you try, you can't seem to hide the sparklers and cherry bombs fast enough. They'll be in the backyard with a firework in one hand and a beer in the other just waiting to catch the closest tree on fire. For an added bonus of fun, they'll hand the firework over to their eight-year-old son to make it even more exciting.
6. The one nobody knows
They're your cousin's kid's best friend and the only thing you know about them is that their name starts with an M. They don't talk to anyone except for the family member who invited them, but they do kick ass at the pool table when you need a fourth.
7. The one who thinks they are a model
They're super sweet and love to talk to everyone, but they treat the poolside as a runway that no one wants to be around. That tattoo from spring break 2009 is peeking out and everyone is too nice to say anything about how uncomfortable they feel. There is bound to be an Instagram picture (or five) from the day all of which showing off their new bikini.
8. The one asleep in the living room chair
It's most likely your grandpa or great aunt taking over the nice recliner in the corner. Nobody knows how long they've been there but no one in their right mind would dare to wake them up in fear of being hit with the remote in their hand. They will most likely be asleep through the day's festivities but manage to wake up just in time for the fireworks.
9. The frat star
He'll be seen wearing his American Flag Chubbie short and Old Row tank top while screaming "'MERICA" at the top of his lungs. You let it slide because this is the only day of the year that he gets to be his truest self; no one wants to crush his dreams no matter how annoying he is.
10. The dad
Rocking his jean shorts and Old Navy t-shirt, he's flipping burgers and making every patriotic pun he can think of. The true life of the party and a crowd favorite when he and his friends pull out the big steps for the 15-minute firework show they spent way too much money on.
So hold on tight, set off some fireworks and eat a hot dog while you enjoy the many people gathered to celebate America's birthday around your pool this summer.