Around the holiday season, almost all of us out there will find ourselves attending a family gathering or two. Regardless of whether we attend these family get-togethers willingly or by force (namely, parental threats), we all have to admit they can certainly get overwhelming and chaotic with an assortment of family members under one roof. With the large number of family members, there comes a large variety of ages, personalities, and opinions. Of course, if you’ve ever been to a family gathering, you’ve probably noticed there are some notable, stereotypical roles that certain family members of yours fit into perfectly. So, the next time you find yourself at a family gathering, I bet you’ll pick out your family members who fill these ten stereotypical roles:
1. The grandpa who’s constantly taking a nap or dozing off.
For some reason, grandpas just really like naps. But honestly, don’t we really all just want to be them? Napping 24/7 sounds like an amazing way to spend the holidays to me. Not to mention, a sleeping grandpa’s lap is the perfect place to take a nap when you’re a little kid; don’t even try to argue with me on that one.
2. The drunk aunt with the bottomless glass of wine.
She’s that one who’s constantly pouring some more wine in her glass, even after she’s reached the point where she’ll laugh at anything and everything. She might be a workaholic and/or not have any children. So naturally, booze becomes her vacation occupation. On the bright side, she always buys you an expensive gift for Christmas with her hefty paychecks.
3. The kid who’s always crying.
We all know that one little kid who cries constantly. You want to purchase a muzzle to slap on the child’s face, but of course, that would hardly be appropriate… even if everyone else in your family wants to do the same thing. The kid’s poor mother has purple bags under her eyes and you can only imagine the bubbling cauldron of frustration building within her.
4. The new boyfriend/girlfriend who looks immensely uncomfortable.
Being the non-family attendee at a family gathering has got to be the most awkward experience one could ever have. Everyone welcomes them and asks them questions like a shiny new toy, but eventually the polite “we have a guest” behavior fades and casual family interaction ensues.
5. The weird cousin you swear had to have been adopted.
You know who I’m talking about -- that strange “black sheep” in the family that sticks out like a sore thumb. It’s not that he/she is mean or creepy, he/she just fits like a square peg into a circle hole in your family. Naturally, you and everyone else during every family get-together seem to wonder if you’re really, truly, and wholly related to this odd human being.
6. The newborn baby everyone takes a turn to hold.
It’s a simple fact of life: babies are cute. At family gatherings, there always seems to be at least one or two little miniature humans around. Considering babies are cuddly, warm, and tiny, everyone quickly lines up to get their turn at holding one. Better hop in line…
7. The grandma who permanently lives in the kitchen and creates edible gold.
Is it just me or do cookies always taste 1000 times better when they were made by a grandma? At family get-togethers, if you can’t look forward to anything else, you can at least look forward to the food. And most of the time at these functions, this amazing food came straight outta your grandma’s recipe book.
8. The teenager who hates life.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying all teenagers out there hate the world and everything in it. However, have you ever noticed at family get-togethers that there is always that one perpetually pouty teenager? Like this sullen “woe is me” teen cannot physically allow himself/herself to smile or show happiness, and it probably will start to annoy the heck out of you.
9. The uncle who bores everyone with stories of his glory days.
Did anyone ever tell you that “highschool shouldn’t be the best four years of your life?” Yeah? Well let’s just say, they didn’t tell your uncle that. We all have that one uncle who tells everyone embellished stories about his heroic moments (even though no one asked him to). He relives his glory days by droning on and on about the game-winning touchdown pass he threw during his senior year football season or that time he caught a fish the size of a yard stick while fishing up north. You and your family usually have a hard time trying not to drool.
10. The person that shows up late, leaves early, and is probably just there for the food.
Family gatherings are exhaustingly tiring and can be boring and loud, in addition to a lieu of other unattractive qualities. It’s understandable that some people would just rather bypass as much of that as possible. There’s usually a person or two at every family gathering who show up late and/or leave early to avoid some of the chaos. After all, we all know that the best part of a family gathering is the food (visiting with family can be nice, too, though).
Overall, family functions around the holiday season are certainly crazy and chaotic, but that doesn't mean spending time with family isn't something we all look forward to, at least a little bit. The next time you get together with your clan of crazies, see if you can pick out some of your family members who fill these ten stereotypical roles. Seasons Greetings, to you and yours!
