If you haven't noticed from the mass amounts of pale teenagers walking the streets, there's a new app out called Pokémon Go! This app has strategically placed Pokémon around your town for you to go out and catch. The app creators have even made an effort to put Pokéstops near local businesses to bring in more revenue and business for the underdogs! With the nature of recent current events, I think an app to revive some of our childhood memories and get us outside with friends and family is what we need.
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1. Love thy Pidgey just as much as the 17 you just caught - in a row.
Or the 23 Rattata you caught before that. And nothing compares to you walking 5 km to hatch a CP 13 Caterpie. Nintendo says they're trying to work on it, but I'm sure I'll figure out how to take a gym over with my CP 13 Caterpie by the time that update comes around.
2. Thou probably shouldn't cheat the system
But if you want to - drive under 10 mph instead of walking if you want to hatch your eggs. If you have a 2 km you really have no excuse but sometimes your girl just wants to hatch a 10 km in less than 20 minutes, please and thank you.
3. Respect thy neighbors![]()
The worst part about Pokémon Go has to be that there are Pokéstops at statues and memorials in the cemetery. So I'm faced with a full parking lot, a crowd of people, and I can't tell if someone set up a lure or if there's a burial happening.
4. Thou shall hit up thy Pokéstop
I love anything free and when I heard people complaining about being out of Pokéballs and having to pay cash to get more I became super skeptical. However, I ended up setting up next to a lure the next day and I walked away with 100+ Pokéballs. So unless you feel like spending that $4.99, go ahead and spin!
5. Thou probably shouldn't throw that 7th Pokéball.
But do it anyways. Throw one and two were probably you trying to get it with a curve ball. Throws three and four were you giving up and just throwing it as you normally would. Then five and six are you just trying to get some kind of mercy out of this game.
6. Honor thy rare and legendary.
I heard they have them hidden behind mass fields of Rattata and Pidgey Pokémon, no one's had enough patience to find out though.
7. You shall not bear false witness
Unless it's against team valor. Then go ahead.
8. You shall covet your neighbors goods - especially when they set up a lure.
I've never seen a group of teenagers without day jobs come together so peacefully and harmoniously. This is essentially the equivalent of tail gating - if there's more than 3 lures set up you should probably go ahead and fire up the grill. We're going to be here for a while.
9. Remember thy phone charger, keep it holy.
I'm in a group chat for Pokémon Go and I've seen more reviews of battery packs than anything. This game will send your phone from 100% to 7% in a blink of an eye. I would've said remember the Sabbath Day, but some of these players never take a break anyway.
10. Thou shall wear your colors proudly.
Also, Team Instinct is the best team - enough said.
