Throughout my life, I've gone through quite a few different gyms. As an early teenager I tended to switch gyms whenever my parents did (because hello, they drove me there duh,) but as a college student I delved into the world of gym memberships on my own and picked the closest (read: cheapest) gym to school. Now, you might ask "why not use the gym at your school?" but that's another story for another time. Either way, I'm lucky enough to understand the importance of etiquette at the gym. Since I became a gym rat at a young age, I picked up on the Do's and Don'ts of gym life pretty quickly, and after that it became blatantly obvious when someone just didn't understand. Whether you're a seasoned gym goer or a newbie, here is the 10 Commandments of gym etiquette you need to live, breathe, and die by.
1. Staring or stalking equipment? Either way, stop.
And topping the list at number one is the classic dilemma of staring or stalking. I get it, the gym is a cess pool of hormonal "bros" and "fit chicks," but if you're staring for too long, it gets creepy. I'm here to work out not find a date. And if you're staring because you're stalking the machine, just knock it off right now. The machine is not yours, and chances are you won't always be able to use it exactly when you want to use it.
2. Don't flex in the mirror after one rep.
Bro, you do not get #swole after one bicep curl with the free weights so sit your frat tank clad ass back down and finish your set. The mirror (and your muscles) will be there later.
3. Wear appropriate clothing.
This sanctuary we call the gym is neither a fashion show nor a business meeting. If you show up in full make-up or khaki pants, a polo shirt, and dress shoes (true story) then no one will assume you are there to work out. Bonus: If you act offended when someone looks at you weird while you're wearing either form of attire, you're definitely doing the gym wrong.
Side note: women should be able to wear whatever they want without feeling uncomfortable but there is a time and a place for everything #Feminism.
4. Wipe up your sweat.
I'm going to say this one more time for those in the back, WIPE UP YOUR SWEAT. Nothing is worse than walking up to gym equipment only to find it drenched in the last user's exertion. Most gyms provide sanitary wipes or towels, so use them. No one wants to swish around in the seat of a machine because you were to lazy to clean up after yourself. What is this, the zoo?
5. Don't machine hog because you're doing something else while "working out."
OK, maybe in the slim chance you really like to spend 15+ minutes on one machine, then that's forgiven. But, if you're spending half the time at the gym on one machine because you're on the phone, texting, checking into all of your social medias, then paying your taxes all at once, chances are, you're on everyone's sh*t list. Bonus: If you're talking to your buddies, taking Snapchats and giggling with your friend while on a machine, you're the worst.
Oh, and if I can use three or more machines and you're still sitting on the one I'd like to use after I'm done, I might just machine stalk you.
6. Stop making a spectacle out of your body in the locker room.
The locker rooms are a place to change, admittedly, but strutting around butt naked while doing calisthenics is weird. No one wants your junk in their face, especially if they don't know you. Change quickly, stop making a scene, and for the love of all that is good someone please tell your grandma to put clothes on before she sits back down in her wheelchair.
7. Re-rack your weights. PLEASE.
Nothing worse than being a relatively fit but still small woman trying to use some gym equipment, but I can't because alas the bro before me was inconsiderate enough to leave his weights out in the open. He doesn't care though because he's off to the next machine checking out the yoga pants and trying to out lift his friends at the gym.
8. Do not grunt like a wild animal.
Well, what did you expect after putting the pin at 400lbs on the seated leg press? Obviously it will be difficult to achieve, but that doesn't mean you need to make sounds that rival big foot during the process. Maybe if you'd take your ego down a notch, you wouldn't need to sound like you're giving birth in order to look cool.
9. Use equipment properly.
For example: at my gym there is only one low row machine (at least only one I like) and the other day I witnessed a man using the bench for his push-ups. I proceeded to look up, and find FIVE different benches for that exact purpose open and within range. The next day, a man brought his four children onto the floor to work out with him, and when they were not taking their turn on the machine they proceeded to sit on all of the surrounding equipment to "rest." Please no. Please. No.
10. Respect the fellow gym goers, regardless of their fitness level.
I admit, I'll be the first to chuckle when I leg press more than the dad next to me, but nothing irks me more than uber-fit people laughing at heavy people trying to become healthy, or someone judging me or anyone else because our fitness levels are different. I may complain and crab till the cows come home about things that annoy me at the gym, but at the end of the day everyone (OK, not everyone, I'm looking at you lady over there laying on the hot trainer,) is there to better themselves. So respect the journey, and understand that we're all in this together. #Gainz
