The other night, I was flipping through channels and I eventually came across Saturday Night Live's annual Christmas special. If you've never seen it before, it's basically just a compilation of the most popular sketches from the Christmas episodes of the show since the 1970s.
I thought it appropriate to share my personal ranking of Christmas sketches in descending order. Here they are, whether you asked for them or not:
10. Santa Baby
What if Quentin Tarantino made a Christmas movie? This sketch brings that speculation to life. Ryan Gosling and Vanessa Bayer play a couple who are hellbent on meeting Santa, and they will stop at nothing until Santa comes downstairs. The absurdity of it all, from the two main characters to the stylized way it's shot, makes this a truly hilarious sketch.
9. Church
If you grew up going to church like I did, you will definitely identify with this sketch. The fact that it parodies the annual happenings of an advent service gives it a universal appeal to anyone remotely familiar with Christmas at church.
8. The Christmas Candle
This is a very recent sketch, but it has already become an instant classic. The ladies of SNL sing about how a humble peach-scented candle makes its way through round after round of regifting. Though this is shot like a music video from the '90s, I think we can all identify with these women in some way or another.
7. Christmas Serial
Even if you aren't familiar with the podcast Serial, you understand how true crime shows will sometimes treat things with such seriousness, no matter what the topic. This brilliant parody focuses on the mystery of Kris Kringle through an incident with a young boy on Christmas.
6. Twas The Night Monologue
In another bizarre sketch, John Malkovich is the bearer of bad news as he reads the timeless story The Night Before Christmas aloud to a few confused children. His morbid interjections add some dark humor to this Christmas classic.
5. (Do It On My) Twin Bed
What's more awkward than trying to get it on in your childhood bedroom? While I can't say I've been in this exact situation before, I still enjoy this groan-worthy sketch for its ability to reach a new level of awkwardness around the holidays.
4. Martha Stewart Topless Christmas
Who knows how they even came up with this? Perhaps Ana Gasteyer's most memorable role, this is one of the "Topless Specials" that Gasteyer's Martha Stewart would host around various holidays. It makes for a very memorable Christmas indeed.
3. NPR's Delicious Dish Schweddy Balls
Who can forget this mouthwatering Christmas treat? Alec Baldwin plays a bakery owner who showcases his world-famous balls for the listeners of NPR. Just when you think the innuendo couldn't be taken further, it goes further.
2. Christmas For The Jews
What exactly do Jews do on Christmas? This wonderful '60s-esque song lays out the various things Jews do when everyone else is celebrating the holiday. They end up ruling the town for one day, as they are finally given the freedom to do whatever they want. I say, let them have their day; they let us have ours.
1. D*** In A Box
It was a tough choice, but the title of top Christmas sketch of all time has to go to this vulgar song sung by some of the sleaziest dudes around. It takes being cheap and thoughtless to a whole new level, as they give their ladies something any woman would probably hate in real life. Yet the absurdity of it all works perfectly for the song, thus making it the top SNL Christmas sketch of all time.
