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The 10 Best One-Liners From NCIS

When you join Gibbs' team, even if it's not for long, you become his family.

Kelsey Alexandra Pappas

Mar 21, 2017

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I have been watching NCIS since it first aired. To me, NCIS is the best crime-solving TV show out there. It's a show that packed with a heart throbbing plot line, adventure, all with a comedic side. You will definitely get attached to the characters and will see why as the NCIS team becomes a family and does everything they came to protect and take care of each other no matter what happens. In the middle of that, their humor brings life during stressful situations. I believe the comedic parts are what make the show real and inviting to the viewer. With that, here are the 10 best one-liners that have appeared since its airing and if you're a true NCIS fan like me, then you know how funny these truly are.

1. Abby Sciuto: "Wow, Gibbs said please."

2. Abby Sciuto: " McGee, never forget: I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence."

3. Tony DiNozzo: "Boss, you are very stealthy."

4. Jimmy Palmer: "When you die, I want to dissect your brain."

5. Tony DiNozzo: "Tony DiNozzo, friend of the ladies."

6. Jethro Gibbs: "What's a hashtag?"

7. Tony Dinozzo: "I bet she's a panther in the sack."

8. Leon Vance: "Somebody get McGee a new pair of shoes."

9. Tony DiNozzo: "You can't buy me with your pepperoni."

10. Kate Todd: "should I write these rule on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 10 Best One-Liners From NCIS

When you join Gibbs' team, even if it's not for long, you become his family.

1. Abby Sciuto: "Wow, Gibbs said please."

2. Abby Sciuto: " McGee, never forget: I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence."

3. Tony DiNozzo: "Boss, you are very stealthy."

4. Jimmy Palmer: "When you die, I want to dissect your brain."

5. Tony DiNozzo: "Tony DiNozzo, friend of the ladies."

6. Jethro Gibbs: "What's a hashtag?"

7. Tony Dinozzo: "I bet she's a panther in the sack."

8. Leon Vance: "Somebody get McGee a new pair of shoes."

9. Tony DiNozzo: "You can't buy me with your pepperoni."

10. Kate Todd: "should I write these rule on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?"

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!