Being a college freshman is truly a one of a kind experience. Entering week four has made me decide that I am now an expert on all things first-year. So here is what I’ve learned- smuggling anything and everything from the dining hall is always a good idea (especially if you know how to slyly walk out while carrying 30 bagels), just because there are 6 washing machines physically there doesn’t mean all of them work (thank you, Union!), and most importantly I have finally learned how to respond to the infamous “that’s so freshman” retort from upperclassmen.

Sure, yes, there are 600 things that freshman are notoriously known for: lanyards, dressing up for 8 AMs, and generally being too eager. These were all stereotypes I was aware of before I touched down in Schenectady, but the one I was not expecting to experience was asking a question such as “are you going out tonight” to anyone older and having them giggle and say “that’s sooo freshman”. The first time I got this I didn’t really know how to react so I awkwardly laughed and tried to exit the situation, but it got me thinking- if everyone was once a freshman with the same comments and questions, why poke fun at our obvious cluelessness? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s funny and 99% of the time accurate, but when it’s coming from someone who was potentially in that spot just last year? Just some food for thought.

After contemplating this for a little, I decided that this was just how it’s going to be for a while. If I can deal with the food at West, then I can deal with a little teasing from my older friends. What came next was derived from 4 weeks worth of trial and error- a three step, foolproof method of brushing off the “that’s so freshman” while playing it ~relatively cool~.

Step 1: Ask your freshman-ey question!

Go for it, ask whether the party is at 821 or 1014 (and then be sure to confuse all of the numbers like I do and have to ask another 10 times), how to get to Denny’s, or where wine Wednesday is this week. Don’t hold back now!

Step 2: Don’t look phased.

Once you ask, it’s already too late and you can’t turn back. Don’t look phased, the “that’s so freshman” comment is only going to lead to more teasing if you look uncomfortable.

Step 3: Laugh with the upperclassman.

The only way to make the situation a positive one is to laugh along with it; the more you try and fight it, the weirder it gets. Laugh, mock their laugh, agree, move on, and if you’re like me you’ll throw in a little sarcastic comment or two.

So, the next time you find yourself at the freshman end of this classic and timeless line, employ this method for (almost) optimal results!