It kind of creeps up on you, as if it had been in hiding for your whole life and you suddenly begin to realize that it’s been there all along. You’re standing in front of the same mirror, eyes locked in on the same face you’ve worn every second of every day, yet everything has changed. Your spirit has awoken, and instead of ripping yourself apart, you see now that the pieces have been put together all along. For the first time, you cannot believe how wonderful you actually are, and have always been.

It was in that moment that my life opened up. This time, last year, I refused to put on a bathing suit. I could not bear to see myself and my flaws exposed, as if it would have shattered the illusion that I’m not perfect, after all. After many tears shed and self-loathing, I opted out of going to pools and beaches altogether, hoping to avoid humiliation. Even though the other girls were far from perfect, it seemed that they had the confidence to do whatever they wanted, and I hoped that one day, I would too.

This time, this year, I tied on my gorgeous new white bikini, and took a long hard look at the reflection staring back at me. I could not believe how great I looked, almost the same size as I was this time last year, and how silly I was not to be proud of my body. Although nothing physically changed, I had come farther than I had ever imagined in those 365 days. I learned to love who I am.

Ever heard the saying 'you’ll kiss a lot of frogs before discovering your prince?' Well, ladies, whoever said that isn’t wrong. If you know me, you know that I’m drawn to some of the worst guys you could ever imagine. For the duration of my college career, the only qualifications I had for a potential boyfriend were that he was attractive, athletic, charming, and conceited beyond belief. If he carried himself as if he was the be-all end-all, then by dating him, I would be too, right? WRONG.

It only took me a broken heart, hundreds of hysterical phone calls to my parents and best friends, and too many moments of humiliation to realize that my selection process was flawed. Three years and four boyfriends later, I find myself feeling better than I ever have before. I know now that I’m a kind, smart, and beautiful person, and the only love I need right now is from the heart that has been beating in my chest since I began my journey on this earth.

It’s pretty amazing, how quickly your life evolves when you push all of the crap out of your way and start living for yourself. Seeing pictures of him and his new girlfriend stops stinging, because you know now more than ever that you two were wrong for each other. Ignoring his desperate “Let me get back into your life somehow” texts has become more rewarding than ever, because you know how to be strong without him. A man does not define us, and we are more than enough without one. With this newfound confidence, I’m more comfortable in my own skin, and trust that through anything, I can come out on top if I believe in my potential.

Ladies, spend some time reflecting on all of the thoughts you have about yourself in your head. More often than not, we see ourselves so negatively, that it’s brutally damaging to our own self-esteem. It might be easier said than done, but it’s worth it. Now, I accept compliments with gratitude, instead of doubting their legitimacy. I take a little time each day to embrace how beautiful I am inside and out, which is the best pick-me-up you could ever imagine. Many women shy away from praising themselves, as if it makes them seem arrogant or obnoxious.

As of now, I am no longer afraid to recognize my worth. If I feel beautiful, then I’m willing to show it, regardless of what anyone else has to say. We each have the power to be everything we want to be in this life, and are all beautiful in the most unique ways. Why the hell would we shy away from that, or let anyone else try to diminish our excellence? You are worth way more than anyone else’s opinions, and are so damn special.

Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I’m a freakin’ goddess.” Someday, you may start to believe it, and I promise you, others will too. I’m not ashamed to love who I am, regardless of my flaws and imperfections. Now, it’s your turn. You are the leader of your life, and you are invincible. Trust me, I know.