As I was walking to work a couple of weeks ago I came across a few of the neighborhood kids. When I realized it was them I started fishing through my bag, looking for a distraction, doing anything to not make eye contact or be noticed. To my luck, it didn’t work and one of them yelled “Carroll! I missed you!” Now she didn’t actually pronounce it like "missed." It was more like “missted,” and already with her saying that I knew it was going to be an interesting little conversation. I was already running late for work and I really didn’t want to be delayed further. But not wanting to seem rude, I stopped and smiled to acknowledge her. As if that wasn’t enough, she asked for a hug. So now I had to walk over and hug her. Afterward, she asked where I’ve been and I told her I was off at school. This is when her friend sitting next to her asked if I was still with my boyfriend. I proceeded to say "yes" and was turning to be on my way when the same friend yelled “Wow, you got big titties and a big booty! No wonder why he’s still with you.” I chose to ignore that and walked away.
These kids are not any older than 14. And the only reason they know anything about me is because they are nosy and will not leave me alone.
At work, I couldn't stop thinking about her comment because it is not the first time I’ve received a comment pertaining to my body. Some comments were less respectful than others and they came from both females and males. But that comment from a 13-year-old girl takes it all. It won the medal! That comment caught me off guard. Not only was it unnecessary, but she in a sense was saying the only reason my boyfriend is with me is my body. She straight up said "No wonder why he's still with you!"
Now, please don’t take this as me whining and ranting (okay, it's a rant). But I assure you that having others comment on your body when it’s not welcomed can get a bit aggravating and it's just plain disrespectful.
In today’s society, big butt, small waist, and big breasts is the image of beauty. Simply take a look at Nikki Minaj, Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian. This idea of an hourglass body as beauty is all over the media. These women I mentioned are known for that. Kim is the one who is most known for her body. I mean she blew up on account of a sex tape!
But when it comes to myself and I’m sure most women, we do not want to be known for our bodies. We want to be known and remembered for who we are and what we’ve done, not what we possess or have possessed biologically. I do not want to be known as “big booty Carroll.” How about "caring Carroll," "poetic Carroll," or even "shy Carroll" (I’m shying away from that)?
I understand that when we first see someone it’s the outside we see. We see the physicality of their body and face. But it is far from okay to label anyone based on their body or anything sexual. Whether it's "big d*** Dan," "big breasts Jess," or "big booty Carroll," we’re more than our body parts. We have a brain, a smile, a laugh! And, guess what? We have a name! Carroll will do.
