Silly me for thinking that you were forever - believing the promises and accepting all of your gifts. I took your words to heart: "I want you and only you for the rest of my life." You fantasized romance for me. I thought those feelings were only possible in the movies. I raved about you, spoke so highly about you, and about how I could see a future with you. Silly me.
Silly me for losing friendships over you. I had best friends before you. But then you had me convinced that you were the only person that I needed. They all warned me but I was blinded by your love. There was no way that they could've been right. You were so sweet. You would have never. Silly me.
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Silly me for choosing you over experience. You controlled every ounce of my being. I wanted to go out without you but I wasn't allowed. I missed so much because of you and I thought that was normal. I was no longer an individual but rather someone who's life was dictated by someone else's opinions. You told me what was right and wrong. Silly me.
Silly me for believing what you said about my body. I was perfectly content before you came along. But yet there I was, attempting to lose weight and wear more makeup because you told me to. I became a new person around you - one that I didn't like. But I did it anyway, for you. Silly me.
Silly me for thinking I was the only one. I believed the lies that come flowing out of your mouth as if they had been rehearsed for days. You conditioned your eyes to innocence - and I believed them without a doubt. Silly me.
Silly me for not picking up on the signs. Your lies had been inconspicuously drilled into my head. I couldn't even think straight. You had me overcome with emotion to the point where I ignored the hints: the texts with other girls, the lies, the rumors. It all went unnoticed. Silly me.
Silly me for giving you the time of day after I found out what you did. I had always heard of people being cheated on but I never thought that it would've happened to me. Yet, there I was trying to justify why it was okay for you to cheat on me 20+ times. You had me questioning what did wrong to make you not want me. You made me question myself and who I was. Silly me.
And silly me for not knowing my worth earlier on. You stole my happiness, you stole my confidence, you stole my voice, you stole my trust - things I will never be able to fully regain ever again.
I still think about it from time to time, and when I do - I hate myself for ever letting you have that control over me. I truly wish I would've never met you because my life would have been so much better off without you.
