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My Truth About Dealing With Thantophobia

The fear of losing someone you love.

KarleighByrne

Jul 09, 2019

University of Kentucky

My Truth About Dealing With Thantophobia

Karleigh Byrne

When you get to the point where you are in a serious, committed relationship, you may get to the point where you start to worry. You start to worry that, sooner or later, your relationship will fade and sit in the past. You start to worry that this will all come to an end and every time you think about it, you are reassured by your partner that it won't happen, yet you are still afraid. If you ever have felt this way or are feeling this was currently, know that you are not the only one. I have constantly been feeling this way. If you were to ask me, I think I have this fear because I am so devoted and truly in love with my relationship that it makes me so afraid. I am so afraid that I will feel completely lost. I get very Hesitant to ever talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling because I have the oncoming fear that he will get the thought that I am not confident in our relationship even though I am. If you ask me, this feeling is one of the hardest emotions to ever explain to anyone, even to yourself. Sometimes, there are no words to describe the feeling. But I have learned ways to keep myself calm without having to freak out myself or my boyfriend.

1. Reflect

Go back and think about every second spent on a good time with your partner. These times are not borrowed from anyone, they simply belong to you both. Meaning that it is no one but your times. Think about that for a second. These good times that you have been through together will never be taken away from either or you. They were made and now are cherished.

Beautiful thinking and a good mind are key in all situations, especially when in doubt and in fear.

2. Live in the moment

No one but God can control the future. It is purely out of our reach. My advice for you is to never let this fear get to you and to live in the present. If you are truthful with the one that you love and adore, then always let your mind flutter with thoughts of why you are wildly in love with them. When you are with your person, spend every second well spent with laughter and warm, fuzzy feelings. If you can look at the one you are with and see forever, then, believe that there is a forever. If you believe that you are with them because no one else makes sense, then, always keep that in mind.

3. Communicate

Some people like to bottle up their emotions and feelings. Sometimes those people don't even like to do it, but they feel as if they were to say anything, things would go south in their relationship. Never. Do. This. Not expressing your feelings will only make things worse and, possibly, awkward considering the feelings will always be on your mind and you will have no room in your head for thinking about what you are talking about with your partner. Other situations when people do this lead to your bottle popping open and a cloud of reckless emotions start to pour out of you with no control whatsoever. When you have thoughts or mixed emotions about something in your relationship or something that your partner has done, communicate them with your partner right away. On that note, remember it is better to be relaxed and calm when you are talking about them. If you lash out and get loud, things will get worse and emotions will most likely pile on even more.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The fear of losing someone you love.

1. Reflect

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

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