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Thanksgiving

5 Reasons Why Thanksgiving Is The Superior Holiday

These are all facts and no tea, sis.

Zachary Kyle Winograd

Nov 21, 2018

The Narrative

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Let's get one thing straight: Thanksgiving has got nothing on Christmas. Sure, you get presents on Christmas and watch "A Christmas Story" on repeat, but Thanksgiving is a holiday dedicated entirely to EATING! If there's one thing I love doing more than sleeping, it's eating, especially if it's covered in gravy. I know some of your Christmas stans will get mad at me for spilling the tea like this, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Now, sit back, relax, and feast on a turkey leg while I spill the gravy, sis.

1. Christmas presents are obsolete, turkey is forever.

Unlike Christmas presents, Thanksgiving leftovers will last you forever. You'll use up your Christmas presents and they'll lose their appeal and you'll get bored of them, but not with Thanksgiving leftovers. Want some mash potatoes? Thanksgiving got you covered. Want a turkey sandwich for lunch? Just carve off a piece of the bird in the fridge. You won't be throwing out your Thanksgiving leftovers anytime soon but you will be throwing out that empty canister of body spray from Bath and Body Works that you got for Christmas.

2. Thanksgiving is appropriate every day of the year.

You can't celebrate Christmas during the summer, but you can with Thanksgiving. Feel like making some cranberry sauce? Want your friends to help you? call them up and invite them to dinner but give them Thanksgiving food. Want to hang up pictures of turkeys and have a cornucopia on your table? go right ahead! Christmas decorations can seem tacky and out of place but Thanksgiving decorations make your home look tasteful and inviting.

3. You don't have to make a wish list

One of the most stressful things for the holidays is making a wish list of all the things I want for the holidays. Then, you gotta hope that your relatives understand what you want so that they don't get you the wrong thing. You don't have to do that for Thanksgiving. The only list you gotta make for Thanksgiving is your shopping list and who's sitting where.

4. Not as many people traveling

The worst part about Christmas? the traveling. Have you seen the roads and airports on Christmas? it's insane! Luckily, Thanksgiving is a little lighter on the travel, making it easier for you and your family to get where you're going.

5. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

And here we have it, folks, the main reason why Thanksgiving is so much better than Christmas: The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love this capitalist propaganda fest so much: The Broadway performances, the colorful balloons and floats, the irrelevant music artists trying to become relevant again by lipsynching their way through a Chrismas song, and the awkward balloon handlers and children that wave to the crowds and cameras as they walk by. It is an event not to be missed.

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The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

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Recommended for you

5 Reasons Why Thanksgiving Is The Superior Holiday

These are all facts and no tea, sis.

1. Christmas presents are obsolete, turkey is forever.

2. Thanksgiving is appropriate every day of the year.

3. You don't have to make a wish list

4. Not as many people traveling

5. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

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I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

Socks

Blankets

Gift Cards

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Pajamas

Candles

A Fish

CDs

Movie Tickets

Candy

Gag Gifts

Dollar Shave Club

A Stocking of Toys

Stationary

Picture Frames

Sports Accessories

Bath Accessories

Portable Phone Charger

Hats

Slippers

Funko Pops

Phone Cases and Pop-sockets

Precious Moments

Subscription Boxes

Alcohol

Scrapbooks

Concert/Show Tickets

Memory Jars

'Open When' Letters

Nail/Hair Certificates

Art Supplies

Makeup Accessories

Anything from Hallmark

Hairbands, Clips, and Bobby-pins​

Stuffed Animals

Posters

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Hairbands, Clips, and Bobby-pins