I'm pretty cool with Thanksgiving, being able to be with family and friends without worrying about school.
As much as I love to eat, what is the deal with this Thanksgiving food? I mean having home cooked meals are lovely, as much as my mom's yellow rice and pigeon peas hit the spot every time. But the traditional Thanksgiving foods do not strike my appetite.
Read this list and see if you relate or wanna have a debate.
1. All gravies do not matter.
It's hard to say it, but gravy is the most disgusting complement to food. White gravy on biscuits and fried steak(even though I don't eat red meat) makes me sick to my stomach. Brown gravy ruins the taste of rice and meats, do you even know how I've gotten to hate mashed potatoes? Speaking of that...
2. Mashed potatoes
When I see mashed potatoes, I wanna know who in the world want to smash that thing up into a thick-creamy consistency that tastes bland and yucky in my mouth? Potatoes are better fried like French fries, cut up into potato chips, or at best, baked in its original state.
3. Candied yams
Let's stay on the potato topic. I know that sweet potatoes are all over, but candied yams (a.k.a. caramelized, sweetened potatoes that put cinnamon to waste) are a huge no-no. The smell is so funny, if Bath and Body Works sold it as a hand sanitizer smell, it would not sell very well in stores.
4. Cranberry exists as a sauce?
You see that red-beet colored piece of crap that looks like dog food but really isn't when you put it on the dinner table? That's cranberry sauce for you. As much as I never gotten to taste them before, I could still feel the nasty slime entering my mouth. Just hand me cranberries in their natural state, juice, or better yet as craisins.
5. Any freaking casserole
Why do you want to throw every single food in the pantry in a bowl, mix it, and put it in the container so it could bake in the oven? Do you really expect this food mushed together, baked in the oven to taste delicious? This is a terrible combination for your tastebuds.
6. Stuffing
Why in the world do you want to ruin bread like that. The smell is atrocious, and it's making me want to leave the dinner table ASAP.
7. Don't get me started with pie
So you expect me to eat some fruit and its juices and then combine it with some bread crust? No thank you. I'll stick to cake or cupcakes. I don't have to explain much with any type of pie.
8. Devilled eggs
You just tore up boiled eggs, mix the yolk with mustard and mayo (the two WORST condiments), spread that yolk mixture, then waste the heck out of the herbs and paprika. REALLY? Leave the eggs for breakfast. Please and thank you
9. Potato salad stinks
Another way to ruin a potato is to put bell peppers, celery, onion, mustard, mayo, relish (another terrible condiment), and the most pungent ingredient of all to add some "stink": eggs. Mix them all together, and you got a potato salad when consumed it tastes as if fart was a food. Ugh, I am vomiting when I am looking at this food.
10. This is not a specific food, but when food touches another on your plate
I am vomiting looking at this plate.
I HATE it when foods touch together in one plate. I mean it can't hold everything without really touching, but I don't want my collard or kale green juice anywhere near my beloved macaroni and cheese. Honestly, whoever invented divided plates, thank you for your contribution.
You think all of these dishes are yummy, but I don't think so. So when y'all have full bellies for days after Thanksgiving, mine will feel just like a regular dinner. I just hope I don't end friendships.
