Two years ago today, I was experiencing the type of change in my life I never wanted but genuinely needed. Although I haven't talked to you for two years, I want to say thank you.

So, here goes nothing.

To The Boy Who Broke My Heart,

Thank you for finding me. Thank you for being that consistent person I needed to help me navigate through the chaos of my life. Thank you for late night kisses, good morning texts, and for every time you told me I “looked like a dime.” Thank you for those Saturday afternoon naps and pizza on Sunday nights. Thank you for loving me well and teaching me what it was like to love others well.

I also want to thank you for taking that love away from me; when you didn’t love me well. When you broke me down and split my soul into two. For when you looked over at me sitting shotgun in your car and willingly let me go.

Thank you for teaching me that nothing lasts forever; that people will leave your life with little to no explanation and won’t look back twice. You have to treasure those around you while they are still here and express your feelings to them now, even if you don't want to. Thank you for helping understand what real, irrefutable heartbreak feels like. Thank you for teaching me that not every story ends happily and sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let go.

Thank you for teaching me, as you took your presence in my life away, that there is not one source of happiness and love in my life. My grandma's hugs, my brother's protective nature, my dog's heartbeat, my dad's laughter, and my mom's patient and kind heart are reminders that I am surrounded by all kinds of love everywhere I turn.

In my first breaths, I was embraced and loved unconditionally and that is something that will never change no matter who comes in and out of my life. You helped me realize real love is consistent in every way-- it is not something you can fall in and out of.

Although plenty of tears were shed that first year without you, I don’t regret it for a second. Loving you didn't stop my world from happening, although at times I thought it would. Instead, it led me to the uncomfortable and painful stages of growing up. Loving you helped me discover myself and things I am passionate about.

I would never have found writing, sketch booking, or really beautiful acoustic music had I not been forced to feel so many emotions. Loving you allowed me to find a home in a human being, to share every thought, problem and success with someone else. Because of you, I am able to comprehend how another person feels.

To this day, there is an unexplainable void in my chest where you used to be. The puzzle that makes up my heart will always have a spot belonging to you. Each day this puzzle becomes more and more intricate. Each piece added brings clarity to the person I want to become. The process of putting together who I am has given me the gift of understanding the final piece of my puzzle can only be found within myself.

I have no idea when, where, or how I will find that final piece. So, until then, I want to thank you for at least coming into my life and showing me what it was like to care about someone more than I cared for myself. Not everyone is lucky enough to say they had a connection like we did at such a young age. Looking back now, it’s obvious that growing apart was inevitable, even after our brilliant times together. Loving you was the most carefree thing I've ever experienced. I can’t thank you enough for both your presence and absence in my life because, in that time, I was able to find what I am longing for within myself.

And that itself was well worth the heartache.

Love always,

Your Thankful Ex