Thank you Angel !

A few years ago, my little brother, Angel, passed away. My family and I were celebrating my other brother's birthday when we heard about the news. I felt confused, angry, abandoned and punched the wall. I never knew that losing someone would hurt so much but something about him changed something within me; I became a poet. I stepped out of my own comfort zone and began writing about him and life. Below, are some things that I have learned from this experience.

1. Poetry comes from the heart.

After hearing about the news, it seemed that Angel was trying to tell my something. I think that he wanted me to express my feelings so one day, I grabbed a notebook and pen and began writing. So many emotions were locked inside so I decided to let them out. It's funny how my first poem was about him and how angry I was. With his presence, my hand automatically wrote without even thinking about what to jot down. My heart wanted to blurt out and I let it speak for itself in my room under a yellow light bulb.

2. Life is too short to be upset.

Knowing that I lost a brother broke me in all four ways; emotionally, socially, spiritually and mentally. I wasn't able to think clearly and everywhere I looked reminded me of him even though I didn't get to meet him. I visualized him as someone who would say by my side as I would do to him. By writing poems, I was able to balance my emotions and smile more. My laughter that was stuck under a rock eventually came out and burst. I was always a person of laughter and I think Angel wanted me to go back to that state of mind.

3. It's OK to cry every once in a while.

Sometimes while daydreaming or just thinking at night, I think of Angel. Thinking about going to funerals tend to tear up my eyes especially in waterfall form. I tend to cry at night just thinking of him which is OK because crying not only releases emotions but also cleans your face; cleaning of both dirt and bad thoughts in the brain. Just because you're sad doesn't mean that you can't cry. Everyone has the right to express themselves even in the most random times.

4. Never forget family.

Though Angel is watching my parents, three siblings, and I from above, it doesn't mean that we don't count him as a family. When people ask how many siblings I have, I always say four because Angel is part of me even if people don't see him running around with other kids. Losing someone is not fun but forgetting them isn't either. I always include Angel in the Full House picture. Because of him, my poem notebook is on my shelf full of poems. Because of him, I have 30 poems written in under a few minutes. Angel is my family and like Lilo and Stitch say, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."

To all those who have lost a loved one, always smile because the ones watching over us want us to be happy. No one deserves to live an unpleasant life so thank those who watch over you. Talk to them when you have a chance even if it's a simple hello. Let them know you love them and that you tend to cry when you think of them even for a second. Thank you, Angel, for always believing in me and always making me feel safe with your presence. I love you tons! -Kimby