As the new year is approaching, and I find myself counting down the days, I wonder just what exactly is to come that I am so eager for. Yes, they say that every new year is a fresh start, but I honestly don’t agree with it much. I find myself getting closer and closer to adulthood and farther and farther away from childhood every day. It really makes me wonder where I would be today if I didn’t have the support that I do.
There’s a hole in my heart because of the fact that I am not as appreciative as I should be. I get entirely consumed on a day-to-day basis with the stress that I seem to bestow upon myself that makes me count down the days. Then I’ll get a text or a phone call from those who made it possible for me to get where I am and I just feel entirely ashamed of the fact that I let minor concerns overcome the person that I was raised to be. I cannot stress enough how grateful I am for all that I have and all that I am, but it is so easy, for myself (and many others), to take those who matter most for granted.
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I believe that there are rare and unique souls in this world that will literally go above and beyond for the ones that they love, and sometimes those souls find each other and somehow defy all the odds against them. I am extremely thankful that I have people like that in my life. I could not imagine where I would be today without the foundation I was given or the help that I have. Throughout all my insecurities, mistakes, and failures they have never given up on me or have loved me any less. The unconditional love they have for me is something I cannot believe I have let get so low on my list of priorities. The support that they give me is the love I may never receive from anyone else, and that’s something to cherish. Even then, I still look forward to the new year and being rid of my teenage years but in reality, it’s one less year I have with those who matter most.
I can only imagine what I have put them through over the years, and I am honestly a little shocked I am still as spoiled as I am. From knowing what’s best for myself before I ever could to exemplifying how important I am when I just didn’t feel good enough, they have been there for it all. It’s difficult to admit that I am selfish and entirely unappreciative, but when I find myself demonstrating the same type of love towards them as they have for me, I know they accomplished their goal.
I still find myself getting into trouble, and making mistakes because I am not perfect, and neither are they. They have given me support through all my achievements and failures, and I have learned an exceptional amount of lessons for my years. I think that once we get to a certain point in our life we all feel this way, and we all chastise ourselves for not understanding the importance of their loyalty earlier. I even find myself wanting to spend more time with them, who I have spent my entire life with, than my own friends. That is only because no one will ever understand, care, love, or cherish me more than those who raised me.
I coincide with the saying, “you never know what you got 'till it’s gone” because I cannot count how many times I have taken people and opportunities for granted and not realized it until it’s too late. Every day is a learning process and every day I feel myself being one step closer to the unique, rare soul I was born and raised to become. For now, I find it a waste of energy to be counting down the days to the new contingencies of my future when I see myself where I am now and am entirely content. I have worked diligently to get where I am today, just like all of my peers, but I really wouldn’t be anywhere near as successful nor happy if I didn’t have the consistent love and support that I have been given.
So it may not seem worthy, but a simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way.
