As my first semester as a freshman comes to a close, I am both more exhausted than I have ever been and happier than I have ever been. First semester was the craziest few months of my short life thus far. I moved almost 700 miles away, joined a sorority, switched my major, met countless people, worked through health issues and learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I now have the strongest sense of self I’ve ever had before. So…first semester…I am tired. I am stressed. I am dragging along with the end in sight. But…I am also thankful. I am happy. I am sure. I am so very blessed. You have given me so many treasures, but above all of them comes clarity. So, first semester, this is a thank you note to you.
Dear First Semester,
Are you SERIOUSLY almost over? It seems like yesterday I was moving in. There’s a million and one things I’d like to say to you, but for the sake of my fingers and my readers, I’m going to focus on the important things. Thank you for letting me learn to open my heart again. Second semester of senior year was one of the most painful and difficult times in my life because I opened myself up to a cruel, selfish and deceiving guy who ripped my heart and self to pieces. I was embarrassed about the events that transpired in that time, ashamed of who I was and was convinced I would never feel light in my heart again. But, you have taught me that there are so many incredible people out there that deserve my ginormous heart and undivided attention. Thank you for my sisters. Many girls talk about how great their sorority’s parties are or how they get to have formals with the cutest fraternities, but I get to talk about something astronomically better than that. I have fallen in love with the most beautiful, kind, compassionate young women I have ever met (special shoutout to my girls AB, HC, CC, AH, AN and JC). You have given me a fresh start to meet new people, but you have allowed only the most incredible to remain. Gamma Phi Beta has given me a place to love, be loved, learn, teach, grow, watch the ones I love grow and be the astounding woman I know that I am. I finally know the value of true friendship and sisterhood. My heart is so full and so very open. Thank you, first semester, for reminding me of the beautiful, hilarious, intelligent young woman that I am and continue growing to be. I had lost sight of myself for a very long time, but now I can see so clearly. I wish I could take back all of the horrible thoughts I used to let myself believe, but what I can do now is continue to share the light within me with other people who respect it. I am destined for things that are so much greater than what I am right now, and I feel nothing but excitement and optimism for my future. I am surrounded by those who love me and support me to the ends of the earth. They are always pushing me to be the woman I am meant to be. Thank you for giving me the relationship with my parents I always wanted. Living with the same people for 18 years can get tough, even if they are the most amazing people to walk the face of the earth. Thank you, first semester, because you allowed me to look from the outside and into my parent's minds. I now realize why they made all of the decisions they made when I was young. I can see their reasoning through the parenting of my little sister, and sharing concerns with them. I have the most generous, honorable, humble and loving parents in the universe. Now that I am away and in my own space, I realize this. I am closer to them now than I have ever been before. Thank you for never giving me a moment of rest. Yes, I am actually thanking you for making me exhausted. I lived (and still do!) a life back at home that most people could never even dream of. Now that I am away and getting more of a taste of the “real world”, I am so proud of who I have become. I do things I never really did at home, like live religiously by my planner, make my bed and do my laundry. I have become self-disciplined in a way I feared I might not. You have pushed me to never stop learning, never stop looking for more and to not settle when life isn't going as it should be. If I do say so myself, my time management is AMAZING (what a surprise)! Thank you for assuring me it’s okay not to drink, not to have casual hookups, not to go out to parties and to love school and learning more than I thought I ever could. I am not going to lie, the temptation to go out every single night and be drunk and hook up with cute guys is present every waking moment of college. But, I do not feel this temptation. I am not sad because I don’t go to bars, I don’t feel lonely and empty when I’m not at fraternity parties. My priorities are so straight and so in line that I am so happy to stay home or go out to dinner with a friend. I do not have FOMO (fear of missing out). I do not fault the people that do love to party, in fact, college is a time to get all your crazy out. I do not fear that I will not make friends or meet the right people by not going out. I do not fear that people will no longer like me because I have stopped pretending to like something that I really do not. So, first semester, with love, humility and kindness in my heart and optimism, happiness and motivation in my mind, I thank you. Although on the surface it may seem that you have taken so much, you have given me so much more.
Sincerely,
Me
