I say "ex-somethings" because not all of these relationships were official. Some were in the "talking" stage, others were just a step past friendship. For the sake of keeping this anonymous, I have assigned "nicknames" to each of the guys.
1. The Manipulator
The Manipulator taught me the valuable lesson of how to stand up for myself and my morals.
He would use manipulation tactics to get me to do what he wanted... hence, the name "The Manipulator". After a few weeks, he broke up with me because I was at a wedding, so I couldn't go to a party with him. Now, he is married and is expecting his second kid.
If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that I wish him the best and I hope he has a good life.
2. The Smooth-Talker
The Smooth-Talker taught me how to listen to my instincts.
He knew exactly what to say to get me to like him. He used me to cheat on a girlfriend that I didn't know he had. After I found out, he talked me into not breaking up with him. We kept getting into arguments and he repeatedly told me to kill myself. To top it all off, he eventually ghosted me. Now, he is single and in the Army.
If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that I deserve better and he had no right to treat me like that.
3. The Obsessed One
The obsessed one taught me how to resist a sketchy situation, even when it would be easy to give in.
He was a senior when I was a freshman. He also had an on again, off again girlfriend at the time. I decided that, as a fellow woman, she should know that her boyfriend was texting me about "how much he wanted to be with me". He then threatened to kill himself because she had broken up with him. Within the next year, they got back together and got engaged as he left for the Marines. He continued to try to text me and confess feelings for me. His then-fiancee called everything off and sent his ring back. He is now still in the Marines and about to get deployed to Japan in September.
If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that he needs to move on from both of us and just live his life.
4. The Abuser
The abuser taught me how to recognize abuse.
He was my best friend for over a year, but things started to change a bit. We hung out literally every day and things started feeling like more than a friendship. Some of the various abusive red flags were: choking me until I almost passed out, chasing me with a taser, threatening me with a switchblade, forcibly leaving hickeys on my neck and chest, as well as painfully biting my neck. The really screwed up part was that, as soon as he apologized, I went back. He is currently still with his girlfriend of two years that he left me for.
If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that he's a piece of shit and he has caused permanent emotional damage. Even when people I care about try to hug me or kiss me, I mentally freak out.
5. The Best Friend
The Best Friend taught me how to be happy again.
He was a bit jealous during our relationship. We were just a pair of best friends that decided to try dating, but it changed the whole dynamic. We agreed that, in order to preserve our friendship, we need to peacefully break up. It still sucked, but our friendship was too important to risk in a forced relationship. Now, we are still best friends and I plan to see him any time I go home on college breaks.
If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that I miss him and I can't wait to see him again.
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