Backstory: I struggled with depression and self-harm from 7th grade until my sophomore year of high school. I don’t really know where it began. Maybe it was the stress of middle school and growing up? Maybe it was my auto-immune disorder that was making me sick at the time? Maybe it was just the chemicals in my brain making me feel haywire? It’s hard to tell the reasoning behind the origin, but for me, it is beyond easy to find the reasons I stopped. Here is my thank you letter to those who made that possible.
My family:
Thank you to my parents and my siblings for never giving up on me. I know there were many times you really wanted to scream and maybe throw a fit right back at me. And although it happened a few times, I needed that. I needed to see how much I was hurting others with my actions. I needed to see how strong my mother and father were when they didn’t break down, but I also needed to see them cry every now and then because of me.
Thank you to my siblings for calling me out on my unreasonable behavior and giving me a hug when I had finally calmed down. Thank you for making me see that I needed help. I needed your support and efforts and I know I put a huge stress on our family, but I cannot thank you enough for never wavering with your love. Thank you for never holding my past against me and always sending me your love and support every day.
My best friend:
Thank you to that one friend I truly had who was always there with wise words and hand written letters through it all. Who always made me promise not to hurt myself and was always there to hold me when I broke that promise. Thank you for always being a phone call away, never judging me, and being the one who finally told somebody. Thank you for being brave enough to be the voice I couldn’t be, even if it meant me being angry with you for a while. Thank you for being so strong when I wasn’t. And especially, thank you for bringing me to God.
My therapist:
Thank you for not letting me call myself crazy. Thank you for letting me sit and color on days where words just couldn’t be said. Thank you for helping my parents understand me. Thank you for helping my family heal. Thank you for not making me feel like a little kid when I had a breakdown. Thank you for helping me understand my emotions and learn to let go of control every now and then.
Everyone:
It is impossible for me to write in a 500 word essay all that I would like to say and include all the people I would like to thank, but these are the most thank you’ s that need to be preached after so much time. Anyone who has ever struggled or seen someone struggle with depression, self-harm, anxiety, or even suicide deserves a huge thank you for continuing to fight and live their lives every single day. It is one tough battle, I can tell you that! However, living my life and learning to love myself was the greatest accomplishment I have ever made! So thank you, thank you for choosing to live another day and thank you to those who made it possible for me to be here writing this today.