Thank you. Honestly. Thank you.

It was something that needed to be done that I myself had tried and failed to do so many times. However, you succeeded. Although it drove me absolutely insane, it helped me realize that I can survive without you. I used to not be able to go two days without talking to you until finally I was forced to go a month without talking to you. It took many tears, many wine nights, many failed attempts at calling and/or texting you even though I knew you’d never see it, it took many talks with mutual friends, but I’m happy it happened because if it didn’t, I would still be calling you every night after a night out.

Thank you for giving yourself space and for giving me space. I didn’t realize it at the time, no matter how many times my friends told me, but our relationship was toxic. It was always a constant battle of trying to make the other jealous, one that I always wanted to win. A lot can happen in a month. And it did. A lot did happen. Most importantly what happened was I learned how to get through life without you.

For almost a year you were my best friend. You told me how much of a dweeb whatever current guy I was talking to was. You saw me get my heart broken and you helped me put it back together. You were the one I didn’t see coming. You always see in the movies the girl falls for her best guy friend but I never actually thought it would happen. But it did. I don’t know if that's where we went wrong. A part of me sometimes thinks that we should have just stayed friends and not let our emotions get the best of us but then I realize I am thankful that they did because at least we tried. Although we failed.. Actually we failed miserably. But we tried-ish.

So thank you. Thank you for being one of the good guys. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for listening to my obnoxious rants over the phone about how my night went. Thank you for your friendship. But most most most importantly, thank you for walking away.

You did something that needed to be done because we were poison for each other. We didn’t have a good relationship and something had to be done. So thank you. Thank you for walking away from me. It’s made me a much stronger person. You took me to an absolute low I didn’t think I would ever get to. But honestly, I truly do mean it. Thank you.