Hi guys,
I know most of us haven't spoken in a while, and that's okay. I know we're all out in the world doing amazing things. I see all of your Facebook posts, some of you are in the military and others are achieving amazing feats of academia or winning football championship games, and I couldn't be more proud to be a part of such an amazing group of men. We have all changed the communities that we entered, and I'm so happy we have set our worlds on fire.
Now, because most of us haven't talked in a while, here's a little update: I have definitely changed since high school. I know everyone does and it's expected and blah blah blah, but in no context am I anything like I was in high school. I have gained self confidence like I never knew I had, I am living my truth, and I am disregarding what others may say about me. The reason I mention all of these things is because most of the time when I knew you, I didn't possess any of these qualities. At our school, of course we had a uniform and we could show some of our personality through it, but today, September 28th 2016, I can confidently say that I look and feel the way I want. Having all of you around me, you beautiful men, made me a tad insecure and I know that is something I had to work on, and I did. I am wearing the clothes I feel I was meant to wear, and I couldn't be happier.
The latter two qualities I mentioned were a little more complicated back then. All of you were insanely accepting of me and I fully appreciate that more than you know, but some of the time I felt I needed to tone down my personality and be a little more subdued to fit the masculinity walking through our halls. I had never been around that many guys at once before and I didn't know how to act.The longer high school went on, I felt more comfortable and I let my personality shine through, but not all my layers (until Kairos 57 and 61). It was an interesting time to say the least.
As mentioned above, I no longer let others' opinions bother me. I did that a lot in high school, which prevented me from reaching my full potential. Somewhere along the way it just clicked that the only person whose opinion matters is my own. Once I learned that, I burned brighter than I ever did before. None of this is meant to sound self-righteous or stand-offish, I just wanted to tell you where I was mentally and the differences between who you knew and who I am now.
For those I was close with during those four years, I haven't forgotten about you, any of you. You all left a handprint on my heart that can't be erased. Even if we aren't talking at the moment or haven't for many years, I had so many great times with so many of you that won't leave my mind. I loved our car rides, movie nights, you meeting my friends from my hometown, extracurricular activities, retreats, singing in choir...all of this is still with me even today. No matter how things ended, I harbor no ill will because you helped shape me into the man I am today.
To those I wasn't close with, I have also seen your posts and successes, and all of it is wonderful. I wish our paths crossed more during our time together, but some friendships are meant to come later I suppose. Everyone remains so supportive and it's an awesome thing to be a part of.
For you, my friends who I keep in touch with very, very often, thank you for never "leaving". There are many others I count as friends that I haven't spoken to in a while, but you are the true champions. I love hanging with you and sharing my new world with you, it brings me great joy during this time of stress in senior year. You have been able to witness my transformation and help with it, and to you I am forever grateful.
So, thank you to my high school class. You are all wonderful people whom I feel so fortunate to know and witness your rises to greatness like we all knew we would. I hope you read this and it makes you reach out to someone you haven't in a long time, maybe just to check in and say hi, or talk about things buried in the past. Remember, it's never too late.
AMDG and best wishes,
Matthew Levine