Dear You,

I'm happy to say it's been a long time since I thought about you. It's been so long since I've even heard or seen your name. You crossed my mind today as I was giving a friend advice on breakups, and I used you as the perfect example. I learned so much in the years I knew you and I couldn't be more thankful that you opened my eyes to everything a relationship should never be. Our entire story was built on lies and endless second chances. I'm so embarrassed of how foolish I made myself look just for the slight chance that you may have actually had a change of heart. But of course, your words never carried any real weight and I let you break me repeatedly until I had nothing left to give you. Our final falling out was the start of a whole new chapter of my life, and I couldn't be happier with where I am today.

I still remember how different life was back when I was just completely head over heels for you. All the promises you never kept and all the lies that I believed so innocently. You were my first love. I had never been hurt before you, so naturally, I believed in the good in people. I believed in the good in you, and that was my first mistake. You were so good at sweet talk and even better at the "I've changed" speeches. My favorite line was the "I never stopped loving you" that I always fell for. Every. Single. Time. There was a time where nobody could ever compare to you in my book, even though I got compared to every girl who caught your eye. With you there was always a competition. I had to try to be prettier, skinnier, quieter, and just in any way better than all the girls that were your "only one." The difference being we had the history, so for some reason I always believed I had the upper hand. But I was wrong, you were always one step ahead and I was always 3, 4, 5, 6 girls behind. I was never the girl you would show off to your friends. I was never the girl that came first on your priority list. I was always the girl who took you back, the one you ran to when the others didn't work out, the one who apologized even though I did nothing wrong. I was perfect for you and your deep love of womanizing. I just let it happen and you took advantage of that over and over and over again. I know I'm not the only one who experienced you and your twisted ways of loving someone but I do believe I'm the only one who put up with it for that long, and that is my only regret.

I feel very strongly that God brought you into my life to teach me one huge lesson. Being with you made me feel empty, weak, and unloved, and I realized afterwards that I never wanted to feel that way again. I never understood your obsession with breaking girls' hearts, in fact, nobody really understood it. We all just figured it was a phase you'd grow out of at some point and so I waited around for that day to come, and it never did. Towards the end of our roller coaster, I decided to give it one final shot, and just like every other time, we failed miserably. I will be forever grateful for that moment.

I tell our story every once in awhile to my friends who are going through a tough time in their love life. I remember how it feels to be used, lied to and drained of all confidence. I can see very clearly how foolish I was to believe you so many times over the years. I remember how great it was to be your friend, and how awful it was to be your girlfriend. I mostly remember how afraid you were of commitment and how that affected every relationship you went through. I remember wanting to help you so badly, but never being able to find the right ways. So I did what I knew how to do, I became your dummy. I let you use me and belittle me and I think deep down I thought that by letting you do that, you would get all of it out of your system so that you could start over fresh with the next girl you met and finally be able to love someone unconditionally. I don't know that it ever worked and I don't know that you ever changed, but I sincerely hope you did. I don't know where you are now or what you're doing, but I just hope you've found someone who makes you want to stop being so afraid to open up. All the things you put me through allowed me to become the strong woman I am today and it lead me to the love of my life and I could never repay you for that. I do believe everyone deserves to feel unconditional love in their heart, and if you haven't made it there yet, I just pray you do someday.

Sincerely,

I hope you finally got it.