Dear iPhone,

I really don’t know what my life would be like without you in it. I mean if I didn’t have you, how would I be able to Snapchat a picture of the extreme breakfast I just cooked, or take selfies with my friends, or have Google in the palm of my hand to answer any question I might need answered immediately. How would I entertain myself while waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or sitting by myself on a plane?

You allow me to have endless apps for paying for things, so even when I left my wallet at home I can still buy some Dunkin Donuts. I can play pointless games that are only popular for a few months like Words with Friends, Candy Crush, Farmville and whatever the latest game trend is. You give me up to the minute updates on all my sports teams so I know if my favorite player has scored, made a big play or gotten hurt. You allow me to check up on social media as often as I want to so I know what all my friends, family, and frenemies are up to. You allow me to send emails to my professor telling them I won’t be in class so that I don’t have to get up and walk across the room to my computer. You allow me to set six alarms within seven minutes of each other so that if I don’t wake up to the first one, five more will follow no matter what I say.

Thanks for having a great camera. How else would I take pictures of the best meals I have ever eaten, document adventures with friends, and remember nights I probably shouldn’t? And thanks for letting me screenshot things so that I can share the latest gossip with all of my friends in the group chat.

Thanks for being there to play the best music for sad nights cuddling with the dog, for pump up music at the gym, and for pregame music before going out with friends.

Thank you for not shattering into 1,000 pieces when I drop you for the sixteenth time in one day. And for not blowing up even when I leave you on the table by the pool in the blazing summer sun all day.

I know this is pathetic, but I really am thankful for you. You’re always there when I need you, with the exception of when you are dead or I have misplaced you or AT&T has terrible coverage, but I don’t think those things are your fault.

Love,

Your owner