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A Thank You Letter To My iPhone

I can't imagine life without you.

Paige O'Neil

Oct 25, 2016

Mercyhurst University

Pixabay

Dear iPhone,

I really don’t know what my life would be like without you in it. I mean if I didn’t have you, how would I be able to Snapchat a picture of the extreme breakfast I just cooked, or take selfies with my friends, or have Google in the palm of my hand to answer any question I might need answered immediately. How would I entertain myself while waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or sitting by myself on a plane?

You allow me to have endless apps for paying for things, so even when I left my wallet at home I can still buy some Dunkin Donuts. I can play pointless games that are only popular for a few months like Words with Friends, Candy Crush, Farmville and whatever the latest game trend is. You give me up to the minute updates on all my sports teams so I know if my favorite player has scored, made a big play or gotten hurt. You allow me to check up on social media as often as I want to so I know what all my friends, family, and frenemies are up to. You allow me to send emails to my professor telling them I won’t be in class so that I don’t have to get up and walk across the room to my computer. You allow me to set six alarms within seven minutes of each other so that if I don’t wake up to the first one, five more will follow no matter what I say.

Thanks for having a great camera. How else would I take pictures of the best meals I have ever eaten, document adventures with friends, and remember nights I probably shouldn’t? And thanks for letting me screenshot things so that I can share the latest gossip with all of my friends in the group chat.

Thanks for being there to play the best music for sad nights cuddling with the dog, for pump up music at the gym, and for pregame music before going out with friends.

Thank you for not shattering into 1,000 pieces when I drop you for the sixteenth time in one day. And for not blowing up even when I leave you on the table by the pool in the blazing summer sun all day.

I know this is pathetic, but I really am thankful for you. You’re always there when I need you, with the exception of when you are dead or I have misplaced you or AT&T has terrible coverage, but I don’t think those things are your fault.

Love,

Your owner

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Thank You Letter To My iPhone

I can't imagine life without you.

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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