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A Thank You Letter To My iPhone

I can't imagine life without you.

Paige O'Neil

Oct 25, 2016

Mercyhurst University

Pixabay

Dear iPhone,

I really don’t know what my life would be like without you in it. I mean if I didn’t have you, how would I be able to Snapchat a picture of the extreme breakfast I just cooked, or take selfies with my friends, or have Google in the palm of my hand to answer any question I might need answered immediately. How would I entertain myself while waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or sitting by myself on a plane?

You allow me to have endless apps for paying for things, so even when I left my wallet at home I can still buy some Dunkin Donuts. I can play pointless games that are only popular for a few months like Words with Friends, Candy Crush, Farmville and whatever the latest game trend is. You give me up to the minute updates on all my sports teams so I know if my favorite player has scored, made a big play or gotten hurt. You allow me to check up on social media as often as I want to so I know what all my friends, family, and frenemies are up to. You allow me to send emails to my professor telling them I won’t be in class so that I don’t have to get up and walk across the room to my computer. You allow me to set six alarms within seven minutes of each other so that if I don’t wake up to the first one, five more will follow no matter what I say.

Thanks for having a great camera. How else would I take pictures of the best meals I have ever eaten, document adventures with friends, and remember nights I probably shouldn’t? And thanks for letting me screenshot things so that I can share the latest gossip with all of my friends in the group chat.

Thanks for being there to play the best music for sad nights cuddling with the dog, for pump up music at the gym, and for pregame music before going out with friends.

Thank you for not shattering into 1,000 pieces when I drop you for the sixteenth time in one day. And for not blowing up even when I leave you on the table by the pool in the blazing summer sun all day.

I know this is pathetic, but I really am thankful for you. You’re always there when I need you, with the exception of when you are dead or I have misplaced you or AT&T has terrible coverage, but I don’t think those things are your fault.

Love,

Your owner

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Thank You Letter To My iPhone

I can't imagine life without you.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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