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A Lesson From My Ex's

Take all of I've learned and use it in your own life.

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A Lesson From My Ex's
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I seriously mean this, thank you.

There have been a billion rough parts of life: crashing my car, failing a class, and shattering my phone, but they all don't hurt quite as much as having your heart broken. Growing up I thought every boyfriend I had was the one and that we'd be the high school sweethearts and nothing would break us up. Let's just laugh at that now. Although out of the few guys I did "date" (some of them don't count) taught me more than I needed to know.

The first guy, let's call him Timmy, I didn't have a fun relationship with, but he taught me a lot. We may have only dated for a little while, but I've learned from him that I can't have my boyfriend be my life. Dropping friends that he doesn't like is not okay. When you guys break up, who's going to be there, because you guys will break up. Also from Timmy, I asked his permission for things I should have never sought his approval for. Any young girl should never go to their boyfriend for allowance for simple things. You want to go get a piercing? You want to hang out with your friends? Go do it. Young girls fall into this hole with their boyfriends, but no relationship should be at this point till your both old enough to truly be decision makers in each others' lives.

Then there was "Nate" and this was one hell of a lesson. I'll never give into anything I'm not ready for ever again. Being young and being in a relationship, I thought I was older and that I could do all the things I wanted or what I thought every other couple was doing at the time. Even to this day peer pressure is real and it's easy to get caught up in. Bringing the lesson to college when getting sweet talked, remember this guy has probably said the same thing to at least 5 other girls this night (I'm not saying all guys are like this, but for the few guys that are). Don't just give in and be the girl that falls for it, if he truly wants to hang out with you, he'll get your number and text you the next day. If I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be not to give into the peer pressure any guy gives even if he is your boyfriend or just a guy at the bar.

Then there was "Rob," the biggest lesson I've learned yet. Let's start with all the good I learned. This was the first time I learned what it was really like to be loved by a guy. Brought me ice cream when I had really bad cramps, let me pick what we were listening to on the radio, drove me home from school when I still didn't have a license and let me go over to his house just to watch Sex and The City (E! marathons are life) and take a nap. He took me on real dates out to dinner and to the movies unlike like any other guy had done for me. We took vacations together all over and did not get sick of each other and loved to spend time together. He introduced me to his friends and I introduced him to mine and unlike every other couple we all hit it off. We had a great group of friends to always go out with and spend time with. Years of happiness can't last forever, though. Fights always erupt and when you're like me and let things build up, which doesn't help, and everything that has pissed you off in the last month just comes out at once causing even bigger fights. Then there's cheating. If you feel like things aren't right girls, they're probably not and go with your intuition. If you see him texting other girls or snapchats from other girls take the hint. If I had known months earlier that there was a girl on the side I would have ended things a lot earlier. Cheating is something you won't understand the pain of until it happens to you. But for a hint of what it's like you'll feel as if your not good enough, you did something wrong, or that you aren't actually loved like you thought you were, basically you're getting pulled to the ground and getting walked over with spikes. The worst part is when you're this deep in a relationship and just ending it isn't reality, because he's still your best friend and still your go-to in order to vent about the most irrelevant things or even the most essential things. Let me tell you though, the "block this caller" option on iPhones will be your best friend, and as soon as you find out the trut,h you need to block this guy as hard as it may be. It will help in the long run. I learned my lessons with Rob over and over again for months after the truth came out and they were just additional months wasted on the wrong guy.

So thank you to all the guys that taught me from the time I was a teenager to the time I was 20 all I needed to know. To every girl, take the lessons I've learned and apply them to your own life, because I didn't go through shit for a bunch of other girls to go through shit.

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