Hey,
We haven't talked in a while. I blocked your socials, deleted your number, and did everything in my power to forget that you existed. I broke down into tears at the sound of your name, even years after we broke up. You treated me like an object, easy to manipulate, an object without a single thing to say and think or feel. You weren't a great person when we dated, and I like to think that if you are dating now, you treat that girl better than you treated me, because she deserves more.
Even still, knowing that you didn't treat me theway I deserved, you are still an important part of my life. Not the type of important where I want to regain contact, but the type of important where I know that I don't have to keep someone in my life if they can't be decent enough to treat me like a human. I have learned a lot about myself because of you, I know now that it is difficult to get me to trust someone because of you, but that if I do trust someone, it is generally because they have a good character. I know that I am stronger now, stronger because of all of the things you did to me (or didn't do). I know when to raise my voice and when to walk away.
This is a letter to thank you.
I am not thanking you for the way you treated me, but thanking you for giving me the chance to learn a lot about myself. Thank you for teaching me how to hide my feelings until I burst, and for later teaching me that talking about my feelings and emotions makes me feel a lot better. Thank you for teaching me how to choose people based on their love and support as it continues and not based off a single instance of attention and support. Thank you for teaching me that it's better to let someone go than to cause myself pain by staying with them when I know that they hurt me. Thank you for teaching me heartbreak and for teaching me how to love myself in those times of doubt and disappointment. Thank you for teaching me how to move on from my past, to be guarded against people who don't have my best interests at heart. Thank you for teaching me it's okay to actually stand up for how I feel because even though my parents always told me to, I never had the strength.
You aren't the best person in my life, and at this point, I am glad you aren't in my life at all. You were entitled, thought you deserved everything from me, ignoring all of the signs that I was unhappy. I used to ignore the signs too, used to pretend that everything was okay because I didn't want to ask for help or tell people what was happening.
I hope now that you have seen the mistakes you have made with other people and corrected them.
I hope you treat the new people in your life right, and despite how much you hurt me, I hope they treat you right too. I hope you have someone in your life you can trust if someone isn't treating you the way you deserve. It may have been a long time ago that you and I were together, but the scars from the way you treated me still remain. I have become stronger because of you, and I thank you for teaching me to embrace my pain and grow from it. I just wish you had treated me like a person, like someone who deserved love and compassion. Time has passed, and I have learned to let go of the things that hold me back, including you.
Thanks for everything,
A girl who deserves more
