Thank you for the nights I stayed up wondering what you were doing when you weren't answering my texts.
Thank you for the promises you never seemed to be able to keep.
Thank you for always making sure I knew I wasn't good enough for you.
Thank you for all of the times you went out of your way to do something nice for me... oh wait.
Thank you for all of the horrible things you did to me. For all of the times you promised you would spend time with me, and then after hours of waiting, only to send me a text apologizing, using one of your bullshit explanations that I could almost predict before you hit send.
Thank you for abusing my kind heart and taking advantage of my caring nature, you loved that I would drop anything for you, and you loved to exploit my want to make you happy. Thank you for “loving” me. In your sick, twisted, unconventional way that didn't actually feel like love at all.
4 years of my life spent loving you wholeheartedly and receiving your form of “love” in return seems minimal to the amount of damage you've caused to me, and probably others.
At 15, I didn’t really know much about how I deserved more than I was being given. I didn’t know it wasn't normal to have constant anxiety that you were out finding someone smarter, prettier, and more intelligent than I. I didn’t know that it wasn't normal to have to compete for your attention. I didn't know that there would be life after high school and that dating the boy on the football team wouldn't be the greatest thing to happen to me. I didn’t know that I deserved to be valued as the intelligent, caring, beautiful human being that I am, I only knew the way you had treated me, and that had become how I treated myself.
I want to thank you for showing me that what I had thought was love, was actually the complete opposite of how love actually feels.
I want to thank you for showing me exactly what I could never want again.
The day that it finally hit me that this isn’t the kind of love I deserve, everything changed.
You don’t deserve a girl like me. You don’t deserve to abuse and exploit my love and caring nature for your own personal benefit. You don't get to decide when or how you want to “love me”.
You’ll never admit it, but you and I both know that I was the best thing in your life for a long time. You don't stumble upon people that care as much as I did very often, and you let it slip away like it was unimportant.
A final thank you, to you, for showing me that I don’t need anyone to complete me. Thank you for pushing me to walk away when all I wanted to do was stay.
You've taught me that you are incapable of loving me in the way I deserve, and that’s where it ends.
