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Thank You For Hurting Me

"Thank you for showing me what love isn't."

Kristin Watkins

Jul 18, 2016

Midwestern State University

1273

https://www.kbellahairstudioandspa.com/blog/why-do-girls-cry-ink/

To each of you who has hurt me:

By no means is this easy. I'd rather tell the world who you really are. I'd love nothing more than to destroy that facade and to crush that ego. What I'd love the most is to slap each of you out of your fantasy worlds and into reality, but I won't. Life will do that for me. Rather than stooping down, I'm going to stand up and thank you.

Thank you for those gut-wrenching panic attacks. My anxiety loved it when we played mind games and when you would ditch me for other girls who you swore were "just friends." Wow, so childish. You really fooled me.

Thank you for the new bedding. I had to buy new pillowcases because my mascara ruined my old ones. I'd use my pillows to mask my sobs after a few of you cheated on me, so my parents wouldn't hear me. Great job guys. Y'all sure know how to make a girl happy.

Thank you for truly breaking my heart. When you told me I wasn't good enough, I had a lot of sleepless nights full of unanswered questions. At that point in time, I was broken. I was mentally, emotionally and physically drained, out of answers and out of tears. I did everything for you and it wasn't enough. You won.

I thank you because I have learned so much from each of you, only bettering myself along the way. While it sucked in the moment, it's not so bad now. I'm so thankful I'm no longer wasting my time. You have each shown me that when I have given my all and it's overlooked, you don't deserve me. You never did. Thank you all for showing me what love isn't.

So here I am writing this letter. Not only am I thanking the ones who have filled my life with grief, but I'm also forgiving them. But know this — I'm not forgiving each of you for your sake. I'm forgiving you for my sake. I'm done living in the past. I'm done holding onto those of you who don't deserve to be in my heart or mind anymore. You each had your chance, and you hurt me; therefore, you don't get to continue to dwell in my patched up heart. I deserve peace, and that's what I'm going to get. I'm not sorry that I didn't change for any of you. I shouldn't have to change in order to be loved and appreciated. As I have tears streaming down my face, reliving those miserable moments, I'm incredibly relieved and thankful that this is the final goodbye. So thank y'all, from the bottom of my heart, for making me stronger than I ever could've imagined.

Someone important in my life recently told me that I'm more than good enough. I didn't believe it before, but now that I have found peace, I can genuinely say that I truly believe it now. I am good enough.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Thank You For Hurting Me

"Thank you for showing me what love isn't."

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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