Saturday, June 18, 2016, tragedy struck many hearts unexpectedly. Only 27 years old, Amanda Strous was taken away from this world too soon. Immediately, social media pages blew up of shared news articles of the horrific incident. It was as if the nightmare would never go away and it was forced reality upon us all that our friend, coach, fiance, family member and counselor was gone.

If you open the news articles and skim past the details of the event, you will read how much she loved her field hockey team and how much her players respected her as a coach. You'll read quotes about her and ones that she said about her field hockey team. Although I was not part of the team, I thank you Amanda for leaving such an influence on them.

I was one of the many lucky ones who got to know Amanda in her lifetime; however, I have a different case. I wasn't her teammate, player, family member or even friend. I was the struggling sophomore in college who needed counseling with depression, and somehow, we got matched together. I spent an entire academic year with Amanda as my counselor, and it's because of her that I have gotten as far as I have. To that, I give many thanks to her.

Thank you, Amanda, for accepting me from day one. I remember the first day like it was yesterday. I sat in your office and spilled everything to you. I remember crying like a baby and you sat there, offered me tissues and let me continue. I never felt judged in your office and I always felt comfortable. I could always be honest with you about everything, even things that I knew would upset you. Those things were the reasons that made me look forward to our sessions each week.

Thank you, Amanda, for pushing me to dig deeper. I first ended up in your office because my heart got broken during the summer. I was grieving for months and like any teenage girl with their heart broken, I thought it was the end of the world. However, you saw more than a broken heart from a silly boy. You saw a troubled past that stemmed back years and somehow you knew that it was the source to many issues. You made me reveal situations that I didn't even know bothered me and you worked on all of them with me at a pace that was comfortable.

Thank you, Amanda, for pushing me out of my comfort zone. Before you, I used counseling as a source of venting. It was a place where I could come in for an hour, vent a mouthful, then be on my merry way. No, that wasn't the case in your office and I am so glad you didn't allow that. You would let me start off for 10 minutes by filling you in, but then respectfully you would stop me so we could continue with what we started working on during the last session. At first, I was taken back by it, but now I realize it was one of the most beneficial things to happen.

Thank you, Amanda, for teaching me how to grieve with loss. A few months before I met you, I had to deal with three losses. First, my good friend committed suicide, then my grandfather passed away and then my teacher/coach committed suicide. All of this was within one month. I was dating the guy at the time and he served as my rock which allowed me to never fully grieve the three deaths in my life. It wasn't until I came into your office that you began that grieving process. I remember being such a wreck as you took me through the steps. The tears poured, the mascara ran until I looked a raccoon, and I can't tell you how many tissues I went through. I remember unwanted feelings arising and you pushed me through each one of them because you knew it was good for me to experience them even though they didn't feel too good. I remember you finding two books dealing with grief and loss that you recommended to me as another source outside of our sessions. That meant an incredible amount because it showed you truly cared about me making it through the losses. I never knew that I would have to take what we worked on and my new taught methods and put it towards dealing with the loss of you.

Thank you, Amanda, for believing in me. You believed in me when I didn't want to believe in myself. I knew I hit rock bottom and I didn't think I was going to make it to the surface again. I thought there was no way out of all the heartbreak and loss. There were days where I didn't think I could go on another day yet you believed in me that I would one day reach a spot where I would be okay again. You never gave up on me even on the days I gave up on myself and that will forever mean more to me than words will ever be able to be expressed. In a world where I felt that most people had given up on me, there was always you in my corner cheering me on. On our last session, together we wrote on a piece of paper all the many topics we covered throughout the academic year. Then, we went through and checked off all the topics we felt we made sufficient progress and growth in. After looking at all the check marks, you constantly told me how proud of me you were and I remember even seeing the tears in your eyes. I was proud of myself because I also made you proud. Anytime I had an insightful thought, you never failed to tell me you were proud and I never once doubted you.

Amanda Strous is one of the many reasons on why I am who I am today. She helped me build up my inner strength to handle situations in the future. I remember our last session together and crying to her because I wanted her to be back for my junior year because I knew I would need her again for a future reason I was yet to experience. Unfortunately, she was a senior intern in the office and our last session was truly our last. Although our last session has passed and now there is absolutely no chance in having another one, all the lessons and strength she has built inside me will forever last. She was one heck of a counselor, and I am forever blessed that I was assigned to her my sophomore year.

So no, I was not the teammate, player, family member or friend in Amanda's life. I was the one who survived rock bottom because of Amanda and I will always be thankful for that.

#flyhigh22