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Arts Entertainment

Thank U, Next—A Letter To My Exes

A letter to all my exes/guys who screwed me over ;)

No, this is not revenge for any of my exes. I am happy with my boyfriend, Vincent.

Inspired by the one and only Ariana Grande, and her new song "Thank U, Next".

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Thank U, Next—A Letter To My Exes
Lucy Mayers/Amanda Walker

In This Article:

Thought I'd end up with Josiah W
But he wasn't a match
Wrote some songs about Adam
Now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married
And for David, I'm so thankful
Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Jordon
'Cause he was an angel

One taught me love
One taught me patience
And one taught me pain
Now, I'm so amazing
I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
So, look what I got
Look what you taught me
And for that, I say

Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next
I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)

1. John

My first crush, who I was crazy about because he sang and played guitar, but thank u, next :)

2. Ian 

You told everyone a huge lie about me and us and caused me intense, deep depression. You made that year of high school a living hell. You apologized years later, and we actually lived together for a week but... Thank u, next :)

3. Adam

I lost "it" to you. I loved you. I could have given you everything but you were blind. I wasted so much time and effort on you. You never saw me for who I really was and you never would. You tried to get with all my friends. Thank u, next :)

4. Stephen

You couldn't admit you were wrong and grow up. You wanted to keep us a secret. Thank u, next :)

5. Ben M

You rebounded me after saying you couldn't be in a relationship. I'm glad we became friends after everything, but thank u, next :)

6. Christian K

You rebounded me too. You cheated on me. You're a HUGE player to this day. Thank u, next :)

7. David

You were 5 years older than me. I dated you when I was a senior in high school. You wanted to get married and for me to move in and go to college where you were. I finally realized how crazy it all was and how controlling you were. Thank u, next :)

8. Logan

You were iffy. And you rebounded me with the girl you swore up and down annoyed you and said she was the biggest bitch. This caused me a deep depression and people took your side. Then y'all broke up soon after. Thank u, next :)

9. Josiah S

You're the absolute worst. You made me think I was such a slut because you are such a high and mighty Christian, when we weren't exclusive or dating. You pushed me down a set of stairs. You caused me to attempt suicide. Then you rebounded me with the girl you swore you didn't like. You're a hypocritical Christian. You bullied me ALL of freshman year. You put gravy on my door, and sent a video of you putting my butter you borrowed in the toilet. You're an immature prick. Thank u, next :)

10. Eric S

You're Josiah's friend and basically, the same situation happened. You accused me of taking advantage of you when it takes two to tango... You got mad when I started dating Ben F, but why? You said you didn't have feelings for me and he and I had been trying to get together for years, you knew that. And he had told me the day before he didn't want a relationship either! How was I supposed to know he would change his mind in the 3 days? Thank u, next :)

11. Ben F

I loved you. We had been trying to get together for years. But when we finally did start dating, you were extremely immature and had very bad anger issues. You broke up with me because I got mad at you for forgetting something at your house. We dated for a month or two. Thank u, next :)

12. Eric B

You were an alcoholic and coke addict who worked with nasty strippers and always asked people for money. Thank u, next :)

13. Jonathan

You were in my philosophy class. You're kind of crazy. I guess I saw it that way because you could never make up your mind about me. You acted bipolar. You pushed people away. You're mean. You used me for sex. Thank u, next :)

14. Michael

Oh God, Michael... the most immature person I have met that is five years older than me. You and I were off and on for years, and you dragged me through all your druggie drama... lied that you were done with drugs, dragged me into immature drama only nine months ago with you and your psychotic girlfriend... you'll never change. You'll always be immature and looking for drama. You're also mean and talk shit behind everyone's backs. I heard what you said about me. You tried to home wreck Vincent and I. This is another message to you to stay the hell out of my life.

15. Christian B

******YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME THE MOST. YOU ABUSED ME. PHYSICALLY. YOU MANIPULATED ME. CONTROLLED ME. YOU MADE ME CHANGE. I LIVED WITH YOU. I learned to be so much safer after you, I'm so cautious now thanks to you. I have PTSD. You have gotten arrested probably twenty times for various charges in your life. Thank u, next :)

16. Le

You used me for sex and honestly you're just the absolute most typical frat boy I have ever met in my life. The way you brag about girls and sex and drugs and alcohol and your fraternity. You were a really bad friend. You talk so loud. You had anger issues. You tried to get with all my friends. You called me and my friends dumb. Thank u, next :)

17. Eric O

You were an alcoholic. You cared more about alcohol than you did about me. You forced me to keep getting on the bike when we were mountain biking when I didn't want to, because I had just run into a tree, had the bike fall on me, and caused my leg to bleed and be in intense pain. You started to not care about me and you couldn't see it. You never wanted to see me anymore, at least you didn't act like it. You were changing and you couldn't see it. THEN, you rebounded me after we broke up; with the girl I knew always liked you. Thank u, next :)

18. Josiah W

We had everything in common and talked for three weeks as "pen pals" and when you learned something about me when we hung out for the first and only time, you didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought this was shallow and you honestly broke my heart. You wasted my whole Christmas break 2017. Thank u, next :)

I Love You Vincent

Vincent and I have been dating for almost a year now- the longest relationship I've had so far. I love you, Vincent :)

I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex.

Thank u, next !!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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