More often than not, I’m an anxious wreck. I have been for as long as I can remember, and I highly doubt that that will change anytime soon. I’m the kind of person who gets anxious about my anxiety because I know that it tends to be irrational but hey, no one ever said that anxiety makes sense (and if they did, they need to share their secrets of rationalizing their anxiety with me).
Lately, I’ve been extremely appreciative of the wonderful people in my life who help me cope with anxiety, so I just want to take the time to thank them openly.
To the people who have held me and been there for me during anxiety attacks, thank you. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder, for hugging me when I can’t stop shaking, for holding my hand, for reminding me to breathe, for reassuring me – whatever you did to help me, thank you. Anxiety attacks are absolutely awful and although I don’t like people seeing me in such a weak, vulnerable state, I also don’t like going through them alone. Even if it was just once, your presence meant and still means the world to me.
To the people who have been understanding about my anxiety, thank you. Whether you understand through your own experiences with anxiety and have given me tips on how to deal with it better, or you have been open and reassuring when I cancel plans or don’t feel like talking to anyone, I can’t thank you enough. Thank you for allowing me to feel validated in my experiences and for not making me feel guilty for what I can and can’t do at any point in time. Your encouragement and reassurance are so helpful and I can’t express how much I appreciate it.
To the people who have gone out of their way to help me through anxiety-inducing situations, thank you. From taking the time to go to the store with me to proofreading important emails to staying near me and holding my hand in large crowds or social situations, even seemingly small gestures mean everything to me.
To the people who challenge me in anxiety-inducing situations, thank you. I appreciate your belief in me and that you push me to go beyond my comfort zone. Thank you for understanding when I can no longer push, for cheering me on and assuring me, for telling me that you’re proud of me or that I did well.
To the people who let me rant, thank you. Thank you for keeping everything that I say private and for not being annoyed when I say the same things sometimes. Thank you for your patience and for listening and letting me express my jumble of thoughts.
To the people who let me rest on their shoulder or hold onto them, thank you. That physical contact, that tangible reassurance that someone is there – sometimes, that is all that keeps me grounded. Thank you for being a rock and for not pushing me away.
To the people who remind me that I am not the sum of my failures, thank you. Thank you for loving me and being there for me when I feel at my lowest point. Thank you for taking the time to reassure the irrationalities out of me and for reminding me that I am enough, that my mistakes don’t define me. Thank you for not getting mad when I dwell on a mistake, for instead reminding me that to err is human, that I am only human.
To the people who are a part of my life, thank you. I know that I’m not the most fun or interesting person and that I’m bad at making plans and talking to people, but thank you for keeping me around, no matter how involved or uninvolved we might be in each other’s lives. Thank you.
