Thank God I’m not God.
It would be horrendous.
All would be awed
By flaws so tremendous.
They’d fall to their knees,
Prostrate to their face;
Begging me to please
Let someone take my place.
They’d throw hands in the air.
Not out of affection,
But to vehemently declare
A bewildered rejection.
Sacrifices would be brought
From far and wide
To persuade that I ought
Let someone else have a try.
You may think I’d do alright,
But let me tell you plainly-
I am quite underqualified,
Oh, underqualified insanely.
I may have a college degree,
But I would never dare
To mention math or coffee
In any of your prayers.
Your hope would be much amiss
If you thought I could
Retain the running rhythm of this
Planet. It would not be good.
If you punctured your lung
By swallowing a knife,
I’d marvel that you were ever among
The living. Welcome to the afterlife.
And you can forget about the cross.
I’d stay on my throne.
I know you guys are kind of lost,
But you’re all on your own.
My justice would not be perfect,
Nor my mercy or power.
Even my love, if it were checked,
Would be an ugly flower.
I cannot do the job, God.
So forgive me when I try.
I’m too deeply flawed.
I’m definitely not qualified.
