Out of the corner of your eye you notice the light of your phone projecting through the room and immediately launch towards it in hopes of seeing a text from your other half. You reach for the phone and your heart feels like it's going to jump out of your chest as you read the name across your screen, only for it to stoop down below the ground because of your other half's "ily" instead of "I love you" response to your heartfelt text. You're fed up and tired with them being the so called worst texter. You would kill to get a good morning or goodnight text like your friend receives on the regular or even a response in under an hour would be nice too... I mean is that too much to ask for? Overtime, you get tired of the constant let downs and lack of responses that your anger creates a nasty storm inside of you. Before you know it, it's as if this monster you didn't even know existed takes over as you argue with and reprimand them. Half of the texts you are sending consists of things that you wouldn't say to your so called "loved ones" or "other half's" face in a million years.
Many are probably reading this right now thinking I have spent the past few months stalking you to find out exactly what goes on and where your troubles are at with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or the person you are talking to. I'll put your worries at ease as I tell you that after my studies, I have come to the conclusion that this is simply the modern solution for demolishing relationships that you weren't even aware you were doing.
Well, where do you fit into the whole overall obsessive with texting your partner and what does how you text say about you in terms of relationships? Please allow me to enlighten you. According to Ball State University, if you are an extrovert, you use more personal pronouns and fewer negative words, also your texts looks like "thisssssss." Those with neurotic tendencies often use emojis, abbreviations such as "ty", "ily", "lol" and negative words. Are you the type of person to send the most messages in a relationship? According to the University of North Carolina, those who show insecure or avoidant styles tend to send the most messages. If this one sounds like you chances are you fear abandonment so texting allows you to feel close and lessens your anxiety.
According to Time about 82% of young adults say they text their romantic partner multiple times a day. Teenage Research Unlimited reported roughly 20 percent of teens sending their partner 30 or more texts within the span of a hour. These facts go to show that some relationships are overly reliant on texting, along with the fact that a great deal of us are affected by this habit that is so called ruining relationships.
Although, why is it that texting is "ruining relationships"? I'm sure, given a little thought, you could name some things off the top of your head that you have experienced first hand. Texting allows many to avoid those awkward dreaded conversations with their partner, although with using texting as an outlet to avoid proper, good communication, are you helping or hurting your relationship?
Hurting. Texting allows for fights to take place. When you don't get the response you wanted or no response at all, your mind wanders and you begin to convince yourself of things that are not true. Thoughts such as he/she doesn't love me, he/she is cheating on me, he/she is tired of me, etc. flood your mind. In reality, they are working, hanging with their friends or family, sleeping, or any of the other million things that they could very well be doing. Texting allows for endless miscommunications and misinterpretations. When all these things build up, World War III takes place and you blurt out things that would never come out of your mouth if you weren't behind a screen. The occasional love filled text can spice up your romance but once texting gets out of control, there is no going back.
I would like to end off by challenging you to go forward in your relationship without feeling the need to ping your significant other as frequently. There is no need for you to hear from them every second of every day. Time has reported that men who texted more reported lower relationship quality than those who didn't. In addition, the studies done at North Carolina showed that frequent texting is correlated with less satisfaction in relationships, since it often replaces conversation. Once texting becomes the main way of communication, couples tend to be less committed to one another.
By going day by day not feeling inclined or wanting to text your partner constantly, you will be overall happier. The amount of fights will decrease, you will have more time to focus on yourself and friends, trust will grow stronger, you will not become totally dependent on someone else for your happiness, you will have more to talk about when you see them in person, etc. I could sit here and go on and on about why lessening the frequency of texts will improve the quality of your relationship but word of mouth isn't always enough to convince someone. Please, just give it a try...for a day, a week, a month and you will never want to go back to your old ways. After all, remember, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
