Let me just say, I am seriously annoyed with all of the whining about our dating culture. Like I get it, you're a hipster that wants handwritten love letters delivered to your door. But the fact of the matter is, this is how the world is now. There's no point in whining about it because all that'll do is make the person who has been dreaming of asking you out feel like the pressure is way too high.
My main issue with whining about our dating culture, however, is that we aren't talking about the real reasons it kind of blows. Aside from any conflicting moral beliefs, some of these expectations are just flat out unreasonable.
1. Going home with someone on the first date.
First dates are both a blessing and a curse; I think we can all agree on that. We're both excited and terrified at the thought of where this could go, not to mention that we have to pick out the perfect outfit. Not too risqué but not too conservative. And then to add the pressure that if the date goes well, it could be expected that they come back to our place afterwards? I don't think so. Like I said, aside from the moral issues we may have with that, there are other problems that come along with that expectation. First of all, it's the first date. Do you know how long I spent trying to figure out what to wear? My room looks like a tornado went through it. The first seven outfits I tried on are on my floor, my bed, my desk, my chair…name it and it probably has an article of clothing on it. I figured it out just in time to run out the door so I wasn't late, and you expect me to have cleaned it, too? Not a chance, dude.
2. Texting instead of talking on the phone.
“Do I text him first, or will that come off as desperate?" “He hasn't answered me in five minutes, is it over?" “It says he hasn't read it yet, but I know he just pulled that little thing down on his screen to see it but not technically 'read' it." The thoughts we have when we're texting a new guy are enough to drive us insane, trust me I know. “Whatever happened to calling someone to hear their voice?" “If you like me, call me and talk to me for hours." I mean, I guess if you have nothing else better to do with your time than talk on the phone for five hours, then this is a real problem for you. But the rest of us love the texting craze because we can be texting you while we're watching Gossip Girl and writing a paper. It's a great thing if you ask me. But my issue with texting all the time is that I can't tell if you're joking or not. I am sarcasm's biggest fan, but over text? It's hard to tell…like are you being for real or nah because I don't know how to respond, and I could make this super awkward if I don't get it right. It's all fun and games until you think he's being serious so you say something serious back and all you get is the “I was joking" text. I cringed just typing that out.
3. Whoever cares less, wins.
I have to admit that I'm sort of a fan of this one, mostly because I am sometimes considered emotionally stunted. But, that aside, this rule of acting like you really don't care is stupid, and not for the reasons so many people say. I agree that if you like someone you should tell them, and if you're interested in someone you shouldn't dance around it until they figure it out. But this has caused a lot of problems for a lot of people who legitimately just don't care. I'm not trying to play hard to get, I actually just don't like you that much. I'm not playing into today's “come and get me" mantra, I'm really just not interested. This part of our dating culture has arguably caused more problems than anything else because if you tell someone you're not interested, they think you're testing them on how far they're willing to go to get your attention. They think it's some kind of game because you're “broken" and “jaded" and “waiting for someone to prove they're worth your time." Listen dude, I'm not some emotionally-wounded girl who's testing your loyalty. I'm just not in to you.
What I'm trying to say here is let's cut the crap. Is our dating culture a little messed up? Some might say it's more messed up than killing off McDreamy, but I personally don't think anything is worse than that. The point is that it's bad and we need to start addressing the real reasons we're just not willing to live this way. I refuse to be expected to wear a skin-tight dress to dinner and then be the “cool" girl who orders a steak. I'm wearing something that's pushing my small intestine into my throat, do you really think I'm ordering a salad because I'm trying to look dainty and adorable? Think again.
