Ah, Candyland.
If you were anything like me, and something tells me we’re oddly similar, this was your game as a kid. The colors, the quirky names, the way your heart would race whenever you neared the Licorice Castle…oh, sweet memories.
And although it technically wasn't a real part of the game, claiming the characters the second that board unfolded was as real a challenge as any. The oldest would usually call Queen Frostine (because she's perfect, duh) and the youngest would probably get stuck with Gloppy the Molasses Monster. It was the way of the world, and now that we're all grown up and doing adult things like crafts and wearing an annoying amount of glitter and bows (read: sorority life), those same familiar faces are back. Only this time, they're disguised as the sisters you know and love.
If the characters of Candyland were in your sorority, they'd look a little like this:
Gramma Nutt
Oh, Gramma Nutt. This is the girl that you can’t help but love. You may not know her very well, you may not even always remember her name, but she’s just so…sweet. And not in the annoying, suck-up kind of way. She genuinely cares about all of her sisters, and you actually believe her when she tells that to the incoming PC. She’s the one that you’d call in an emergency situation because you just know she’d be there in a heartbeat. And she’d probably bring snacks because, well…she’s Gramma Nutt. Duh.
Queen Frostine
All hail the Queen. From the moment you stepped into that beautiful lodge you now call home, you knew that she was that girl. You know, the girl that always looks perfect no matter what. The girl that can literally roll out of bed after a four-day study binge, walk down the stairs, and look like Candice freakin’ Swanepoel. Casual chapter? Forget it. This girl doesn’t go anywhere without looking like pure perfection. Your only hope is that your disdain will make your hair shinier and your skin brighter. Tip: it doesn’t.
Lord Licorice
This is the girl that you can’t decide if you should fear, or respect. I mean, she’s not exactly nice. You’ve seen her at her worst and that was all you needed to see to keep from getting on her bad side, ever. She’s borderline scary in the way she confronts other people and you swear one time you saw a flying monkey in the back of her car. But at the same time, the girl get’s stuff done. She’s nothing if not thorough, and you know if you needed someone to disappear, she’d be your girl. Plus, she gave your ex a come-to-Jesus when he wouldn’t stop harassing you at the library, and for that you’ll forever be grateful.
Plumpy
Plumpy is the kind of sorority sister that doesn’t really…do…anything. I mean she comes to mandatory stuff, she participates in as much is required, but tailgates? Extra sisterhood events? Pre and post date-party parties? Yeah, she’s nowhere to be found. You don’t dislike her, but you can’t particularly like her either because you don’t know enough about her. She’s just…there. And that’s okay because she’s gorgeous and seems sweet, so as long as she’s wearing your letters, you don’t care how involved she is.
And as for “the kids”? You know, the real players. The colorful little guys we fought over as kids and crossed our fingers to finally have them lead us to Candy Castle. Well, I don’t know about you, but those guys sure remind me a whole lot of those dashing gentleman just around the bend of Greek Circle…
