Now, I know what you're thinking, because I've seen this article headline on my newsfeed before too, and I opened it to see someone pointing out all the greatness of getting a dog while in school (not that I'm disagreeing, it's AWESOME), but it isn't realistic. I see all too often students impulsively spending the money that they had for rent on a dog that was too "cute" to pass up, only to try and sell it a few days later because they had absolutely no idea what they where doing, and shit starts to stink (literally and figuratively). So here we go -- the ups and brutally-honest downs of getting a dog while in school
DO NOT BUY A DOG JUST BECAUSE IT IS CUTE
Whoever came up with the tactic to put puppies in store front windows was a GENIUS, because there's no way you can just walk past puppy eyes, and if you can, I'm questioning if you have a soul. Now, trust me, I knooooow it is so hard to go into PetsPlus for a quick puppy pick-me-up and have to have your friend drag you out of there, because what was "I just want to go look at them!!!" turned into "Wait, if I don't go out for like three weeks and sell some stuff on the sorority yard sell page, or donate plasma three times this week..." you could afford to get the puppy, because it's cuteness alone would make you Insta famous. But the truth is, even doing all that, you're only affording the price tag of the dog, not factoring medical check-ups, which they'll need at least once every year and not including emergencies, food, toys, handling equipment, training (if you have a hard time saying no), grooming, and the list goes on. It's cute, I know, but just continue pinning to your Pinterest board of "Dream dogs," and you'll be okay.
IT STINKS
Dog poop smells. That cute doe-eyed angel you brought home is going to poop, and it's going to singe your nose hairs straight off and kick your gag reflexes into full force so much that you are going to swear the pile of feces came from Satan himself to spite you. Newsflash: it didn't. Your little ball of fluff and cuteness will go to the bathroom wherever it pleases; on your carpet, in your bed so you roll over and don't realize you're sleeping in dog pee, in the car, on your couch, your favorite Delt shirt they drug out of the hamper on to the floor, and for the first couple of days, THAT'S OKAY! Because they don't know any better in their new environment, and you shouldn't fault them for that. Potty training a puppy can be so difficult, but getting angry at them for what God intended their little puppy bowels to do isn't the best route. Get some paper towels and cleaning spray, and welcome to puppyhood.
IT'S RUFF
Dog shaming is a thing for a reason. We don't just make this up for laughs.. but really, it's rough. Puppy's are born with sharp, razor-edged, vampire daggers, and those bad boys can chew up some stuff. Typically you give the little guy a stern "no" and they'll get the picture, but if you're like me, you'll find quickly you got the Edward Scissorhands of all puppies with teeth. Shoes: invest in a nice steel toed boot option, because anything with laces is likely to be eaten or torn to shreds because, for them, "it's not a phase, it's art." Dogs eating your homework is a real life thing, and let me tell ya, professors aren't as forgiving. Your skin? It will never look the same. I advise giving up on short sleeves and shorts unless you want to forgo questions of concerned friends asking if you've been harming yourself and assuring them it's only the claw and teeth marks of your puppy's affection. Along with that though, be prepared to always have little holes in the sleeve of your shirts. And leggings or sweatpants? Your buddy's favorite new game of tug-a-war.
IF YOU LIVE IN A 12x12 BOX WHY WOULD YOU ADD AN ANIMAL
I feel that's pretty self explanatory for most first-year college students but I still know and hear of some freshmen that think since they're out of the house, they can do whatever TF they want, and what they want is a dog. I'm sorry, but WHAT? One, you're not even allowed to have anything other an a aquatic animal that can be contained in a fishbowl. Two, why would you do that? Puppies need room to run, and if you're like 99.9 percent of freshmen, your room looks like it should appear on an episode of "Hoarders," so you're going to be playing Marco Polo with your dog, and not because it's fun. Also I don't think your CA will appreciate laps around the hallway. And are you going to walk down X amount of stairs to take the puppy out EVERY TIME it takes a drink of water or eats (because they have to go to the bathroom every time)? You'd be in really good shape, but that's beside the point. I get that your freshman year is a time to be crazy and make mistakes, but getting a dog should not be one of them. DO NOT GET A PUPPY IN THE DORMS.
FIDO WON'T ALWAYS BE HEALTHY
I'm not wishing that upon anyone and their pet by any means, but let's face it: not all puppies are born with a clean bill of health, nor do dogs stay that way. I have fostered so many dogs in my lifetime, and I have the stains on my carpet AND vet bills to prove it. When getting your puppy, I'd take it to a vet within five days of owning it, and if it hasn't already, GET IT SHOTS. Going to the dog park is so much fun with your friends and definitely snapchat story worthy, but if Spike doesn't have his vaccines, it won't be so much fun in a week's time when he's caught a virus and it has cost you an arm and leg, plus selling your ACL tickets to get him feeling better. If you can't afford a $9 bowl from Chipotle some weeks, getting a dog probably isn't wise, young scholar.
YOU BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON
Having a dog is just like having a child. There is NO other comparison, so don't be surprised if people start dropping by wanting to the hold the baby puppy, congratulations in tow. You become the newly engaged couple on Facebook -- all the engagement pictures you used to gouge your eyes out over are replaced with a whole album dedicated to your new addition, but at least you're doing people a favor, because puppies are friggin cute. Remember the days you used to spend hours getting ready in the morning to go to class looking presentable, knowing you'd be snap chatting your bae throughout? Gone. All you send are pictures and videos of the puppy sleeping in your lap or climbing through your hair (goodluck pup, mommy can't get a comb through it some days) because puppy pics > duck face. You no longer go shopping for one. If you're a crazy dog lady like myself you'll stop by the butcher and get a "Soup" bone for the paws at home. And as if we needed another reason to go to Hobby Lobby, they have a section for dog decor, where I scored some killer dog bowls and a cheesy sign about a dog living in my house that is hidden among painted canvas. Finally, though, you have an excuse not to go out, because you'd rather get Fifi to achieve a sit/high five combo than be high-fiving the Conf toilet at midnight.
DID YOUR PARENT EVER LEAVE YOU HOME ALONE WHEN YOU WERE A BABY?
Not without a babysitter, I'm sure. A little potty-training, toy-shredding puppy can't be kenneled up and left alone for hours on end while you're on Broadway "studying." This is another life -- a living, breathing, animal that depends on YOU for all it's care. Human babies can eventually get to the point where we tell you what's good; a puppy needs you for everything, and if you want a well behaved dog in the future, it's going to take a whole lot of nurturing and devotion on your part. You're going to wish you would've payed more attention to the harping of "time management" you heard all about your freshman year. Because it's so long Shots Wednesday, and hello puppy playdates.
If you're seriously considering getting a dog while in school, PLEASE look into shelters, and don't just look for cute puppy faces. Everyone loves puppies, but older dogs love everyone. They're easier to train and even less maintenance...sometimes. You are what you make it, and any shelter dog is just as good as a dog you'll pay $300+ for, and don't forget it.
