Y'all all need to know about the rumors of the Lonestar State.
Yeehaw and Howdy, y'all!
While that was a clever little rhyme, I'm 99 percent positive I've never said either of those words seriously in my entire Texan life.
I (and nearly everyone else that's stepped foot over the Texas state line) adore and cherish my great state; however, it's time some of these ridiculous (and some true) Texan stereotypes be debunked. Here's my rating on whether these Texan stereotypes are A) True, B) Myth or C) Both.
- Everyone listens to only country music. BOTH.This stereotype goes two ways: yes, it’s unfortunately and obnoxiously true, and holy God, thank you that it’s not the case for every soul in the great state. There are your Texans that can’t seem to let go of their George Strait cassette tapes, but there are also some of us that like a bit of spice in our lives. I for one typically stray away from the repetitive dog-loving, pick-up truck driving, my wife left me lyrics, and try to squeeze some Justin Beiber in there (this is a complete joke, by the way).
- Everyone has a farm and rides horses. MYTH.Let me just take a second to say that every time I visit another state (especially New York) I never fail to get the question, “So do you really ride your horses to school?” This might be the most idiotic enquiry I receive on a normal basis. Seeing someone ride their horse to school would be on par with spotting a unicorn; it doesn’t happen. While some Texans do happen to own horses, most of them are used for their jobs, or for (this might come as a shock) equestrian sports. I’m terrified of horses, and you couldn’t pay me $5,980,088 to get on one of those oversized Satan donkeys. And while we’re on the massive, horrifying animal subject, not all of us own farms or even work on a farm. I’ve been on a farm once, and by farm I really mean petting zoo. I touched one pig and after it kicked its poop on me, decided I’d had enough. Most of us wouldn’t know what to do with goats or chicken feed any more than the next person, and no, I have no clue how to rope a calf or brand a cow.
- “Y’all” = stupidity. MYTH. If anything, Texans as a whole are genius for thinking of this word. Who has time to say “you guys” anyway? So what if it’s overused, it’s in the dictionary.
- Everyone drives a pick-up truck. BOTH. My Kia Sportage begs to differ with this myth. While this stereotype seems to be truer than others, not every Texan drives a ’85 Chevy with longhorn horns on the hood. However, there does seem to be an abundance of Dodge Rams with lift kits big enough to make up for any male insecurities (I think we all know where I’m going with this one).
- We all want to secede. MYTH. No. No, no, no, no. While there are your few radicals that feel secession would take care of all “them crazy democrats,” most of us do, actually, remember the Alamo. If being our own independent country didn’t work out so well the first time, chances it are, it’s likely to fail now.
- Our main diet consists of BBQ and Mexican food. BOTH.First off, I’m
a vegetarian. I haven’t had a burger, much less some brisket, since the summer
of 2011. I’ll pass on the heart failure that “good ol’ BBQ” provides. However,
I will admit that I’m
a shining ray of lighta rarity in the biggest state. It seems most Texans' blood consist of steak and potatoes. The only thing I have to say about our Mexican food, is that once you hit Colorado, you’re too far north for authentic, greasy, spicy, heart-stopping Mexican food. The breakfast tacos you can find here at the sketchy taco truck attached to the gas station are better than any Taco Bell knockoff burrito. Being that we’re about .5 seconds away from the Mexican border, it would be absolute blasphemy if Texas wasn't the mecca of all enchilada lovers.
- Everyone has an obsession with football. TRUTH.When most people think of Texas football, the first thought it Friday Night Lights. And while it's not as glamorous and sexy as Taylor Kitsch, it's definitely accurate. You may ask, "Well what about those people that just don't enjoy football?" 1. They're wrong. 2. They still love going to the games, whether it be to show off their new team-inspired dress (I'm looking at you, every female at Baylor, ever), or to participate in tailgates (I'm looking at you, every male at Baylor, ever). While we're on the tailgating subject, I should add that Texan football etiquette almost requires you to be passed out in the parking lot with a foot-long corn-dog in your hand by kickoff.
- “Everything’s Bigger in Texas." MYTH.Well, if by this you mean the average woman’s rear-end and hair, then yes. Yes, this stereotype is completely accurate.
- Everyone is over-the-top about how fantastic Texas is. TRUTH. Yes, duh. Because it is.
Photo courtesy of 123rf.com/profile_maridav.
