I am in a terrible relationship. The relationship is unhealthy and it makes me feel like less of a person. I am in a terrible relationship with food.

The relationship food and I have has been going on 20 years now. I can’t get out of it and I just have to figure out a way to make it better. Food has always been a comfort item for me, it is there when I am sad, it is there when I am excited, its there when I feel nothing at all. I have tried to avoid it, I have tried to accept it, and I have tried to stop it all together but it always ends up being the same. I always come back to where I started.

Some people see food as fuel, fuel that makes your body run correctly every day. That is how it should be, you shouldn’t see food as a punishment. Food should not make you feel bad about yourself it should not make you hate yourself.

The world we live in is the reason I have this relationship with food. You see these women in ads that have been computer edited and generated and it makes me feel like I need to be this certain size or shape. It makes me feel like I cannot eat food so I can be skinny enough to look like those women. It makes me feel like I have to restrict myself all the time so I can be “healthy” like them. In reality those kinds of thoughts are not healthy at all. I have to tell myself that food is not there to make me feel bad about myself but it is there because I need it to live and I need it to actually be healthy.

This relationship that I am in with food I have been working on for a long time. It is getting better every day but it is something that I must work on constantly. This relationship with food will always be there and it will always be a part of my life. I have to come up with a way to make it fit into mine so it isn’t so terrible anymore.