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Relationships

17 Unique Ways To Get A Guy's Attention

It's all about biology, tenacity and pleasing your man.

Karina Tarbell

Feb 20, 2017

South Carolina Speaks

322

Bustle

We've all been there. That cute boy in your dorm building, or your 8 am English class is right there. But who in the world would just walk up and say, "Hey"? There's got to be a better way. You've probably wracked your brain for the pickup line or flirty move that will catch that Greek God of a man off guard and make him fall head over heels in love for you. Let me just tell you, you are on the right track. I am here to tell you how you can get the guy.

1. Remove every. single. hair. from your body.

2. Find out his favorite team and paint your whole self accordingly.

3. Feed him by hand, because everyone knows animals (aka homo sapiens) are attached to their primary food source.

4. Kidnap his cat -- he will then be forced to visit you AND Fluffy.

5. Use pickup lines. Traditional flirting is overrated, puns are underrated.

6. Perform an autobiographical monologue for him. Who says Tinder is the only place for a well-worded introduction?

7. Introduce yourself to his family first, like the good old days of arranged marriages. (Bonus if you give them a goat in order to court their son.)

8. Stand outside his window yelling poetry you've written about him because everyone loves a good poem.

9. Give him a spontaneous haircut. He'll respect your spontaneity and how much you care about his appearance.

10. Walk around with a baby doll or, even better, steal a baby. Everyone knows that babies get guys' biological instincts going.

11. Make Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson your #bodygoal. Dudes LOVE The Rock.

12. Find out where he shops and buy the same outfits so you can twin. If he likes it on himself, he will love it on you.

13. Learn to faint on cue and let him save you, so you can be the perfect damsel in distress.

14. Wear makeup 24/7, and maybe learn how to tolerate a corset. After all, men want REAL women.

15. Learn his life via social media. He will be impressed with your detective skills.

16. Photoshop your faces together to create potential pictures of your future children so he knows the potential you hold.

17. Find all of his exes and tell them to back off so you have no threats.

So I'm hoping you'll step up your game and take some inspiration from this collection of unique ideas. Try it before your girlfriends so you can get the best catch of them all!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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17 Unique Ways To Get A Guy's Attention

It's all about biology, tenacity and pleasing your man.

1. Remove every. single. hair. from your body.

2. Find out his favorite team and paint your whole self accordingly.

3. Feed him by hand, because everyone knows animals (aka homo sapiens) are attached to their primary food source.

4. Kidnap his cat -- he will then be forced to visit you AND Fluffy.

5. Use pickup lines. Traditional flirting is overrated, puns are underrated.

6. Perform an autobiographical monologue for him. Who says Tinder is the only place for a well-worded introduction?

7. Introduce yourself to his family first, like the good old days of arranged marriages. (Bonus if you give them a goat in order to court their son.)

8. Stand outside his window yelling poetry you've written about him because everyone loves a good poem.

9. Give him a spontaneous haircut. He'll respect your spontaneity and how much you care about his appearance.

10. Walk around with a baby doll or, even better, steal a baby. Everyone knows that babies get guys' biological instincts going.

11. Make Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson your #bodygoal. Dudes LOVE The Rock.

12. Find out where he shops and buy the same outfits so you can twin. If he likes it on himself, he will love it on you.

13. Learn to faint on cue and let him save you, so you can be the perfect damsel in distress.

14. Wear makeup 24/7, and maybe learn how to tolerate a corset. After all, men want REAL women.

15. Learn his life via social media. He will be impressed with your detective skills.

16. Photoshop your faces together to create potential pictures of your future children so he knows the potential you hold.

17. Find all of his exes and tell them to back off so you have no threats.

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"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

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