The home I was born into did not give me a chance. A mother who once called her parents crying in the middle of the night, because she found a stray kitten. A father whose parents refused to neuter their felines, resulted in several generations under one roof. There could be no way for me not to be born a cat lady.

One could say it is a bad thing that I ended up with this destiny. One could say it, but they would be wrong. I love being a crazy cat lady. If I didn’t live in a dorm and litter boxes didn’t smell, you’re damn right I would have 25. I wholeheartedly agree that this makes me sound insane. Do you know what else sounds insane? Someone who doesn’t want 25 cuddly balls of fur in their lives.

Yet somehow these people exist. How? I do not know. But they do. Not only do they not understand how you could want 25 cats, but they question your rationality constantly. Well, fateful cat lover, you must question theirs. Here are 10 ways to respond when those happiness-haters call you a crazy-cat person:

1. “Am I supposed to be hurt by that?”

Maybe they meant it as a compliment.

2. Bring history into it:

Listen to Hermione, she knows her stuff.

3. Or maybe even state famous cat ladies who make it work:

Taylor Swift is one of hundreds of celebrities who celebrate cat-power. Probably. Maybe. I don’t actually know, but I feel like there are more.

5. Get really emotional:

Tears are the perfect way to win any argument. Even if you are a crazy cat man.

6. “Can I just show you five pictures of my cat as a kitten? He’s adorable. How could you not love that face? You really just need to see his face.”

7. They’re so friendly when they want to be:

8. Sometimes even a little too friendly:

9. “Okay, but did I show you my cat? Maybe you just need more pictures, ya know?”

This is actually my cat. I know he’s perfect. You don’t need to tell me.

10. Accept that this person will never be as cool as you are. Don’t forget to use one last cat pun before cutting them out of your life.